


Song in C Minor

by puddleofgoo



Series: A Life Less Ordinary [8]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-09
Updated: 2008-10-09
Packaged: 2018-01-13 02:44:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1209799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puddleofgoo/pseuds/puddleofgoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney and Cadman find it difficult to harmonize when she gets stuck in his head and discovers it's not so much a duet as it is a trio.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Song in C Minor

**Author's Note:**

> This story is eighth in the "A Life Less Ordinary" series and is set during and immediately following the events in SGA 2x02 "Duet". 
> 
> Author's Notes: This was actually written after what is now #9 in this series when I got the "But I thought you were going to write something about Duet?" question. Whoops. So, this was actually written after #9 but chronologically comes first.

John positioned himself in front of the gate, ready to take down the incoming dart by any means necessary. The damn thing had probably seen them. There was no way they could let it get off this planet.

And then with a few words, his world collapsed.

“Wait! McKay and Cadman have been beamed aboard that dart!” Carson’s words froze John’s blood in his veins. Rodney. Oh god… But he had to make the call. He had to put Atlantis above his personal needs. Oh god, if there is a god, please, please let them take it down and find a way to recover Rodney…

“We can’t risk the dart making it back to the hive ship.” John couldn’t believe he kept his voice steady, his aim true as the Wraith ship came into view. He opened fire, knowing that if this was the end of his lover, part of him would die. The others followed his lead, and the craft veered off course. He registered Carson’s yell over the radio, and then watched as the dart crashed, watched the huge cloud of dust it kicked up as it crashed.

There was no explosion, so it was intact. There was a chance…

But he didn’t let himself hope, shoving aside his personal feelings for the moment, forcing himself to be the military commander. Atlantis deserved it of him, and Rodney would never forgive him if he did otherwise.

And he ran.

When they arrived at the dart, it was almost like slow motion, watching Carson approach while the damn Wraith pilot reached for the controls. John reacted instinctively, instantly,, watching the body of the Wraith pilot jump with a sick satisfaction when his bullet entered its body.

“What the hell d’you think you’re doing?” He had never seen Carson so flustered and angry.

“It was reaching for the self-destruct.” John let his eyes roam, taking in the state of the dart. It was more or less intact. Maybe… Maybe there was still a chance Rodney was okay…

Carson was moving towards him, yelling. “He’s the only one that could get Cadman and McKay out!”

Rolling his eyes, John decided he should give some thought to more mandatory training for going off world. McKay wanted Beckett to get more experience on missions for some reason, but Carson really had no clue sometimes. It was hard to believe he was part of the original expedition, had seen so much, and could still be so innocent in some ways.

On second thought, that kind of outlook on life was rare and precious—especially out here. John made a silent promise to do what he could to shield the doctor from the horrors life could offer whenever possible.

“I seriously doubt he’d oblige.”

“Well, we’ll never know now, will we?” Carson huffed off, and John was grateful to Teyla for breaking the conversation up, allowing him to refocus. He needed to stay focused.

"Is everyone alright?" she asked as soon as she was in range, her voice concerned but otherwise normal—no indication that she'd just run all the way from the far tree line.

"We’re fine." John glanced over at one of the huffing Marines who were with Teyla. "Hansen, radio Atlantis. We want Zelenka here ASAP. We’ve got a problem."

The marine nodded, already turning to run to the gate to follow through on his order. Teyla tilted her head to the side, her eyebrows drawn together slightly. "What do you hope to accomplish?"

John didn't look at her, staring at the dart instead. "McKay and Cadman were beamed aboard that thing. If there's any way at all to recover them, Zelenka is the one to find it."

"I have never heard of such a thing occurring."

John's heart constricted, but he refused to give up the tiny shred of hope he still had. "Just because it’s never been done, doesn't mean it can't be done. Let's get Zelenka out here and see what he says."

Teyla nodded, moving a few steps away as Carson approached him. "It all happened so fast. Cadman pushed me out of the way and before I knew it they were gone."

The next sixty minutes blurred together as John kept himself busy, organizing the men and scientists who came through the gate to assist, coordinating everything. He secured the area, patrolled, and did his damnedest not to think too hard about what was going on. He couldn't stay away long however, altering his course to swing by where Carson and Radek were examining part of the dart, hoping to catch something interesting.

Zelenka waved a hand in his general direction, calling out for him to walk over at the same time as some sparks shot out of the back of the damaged dart, making the Czech jump up and cower with fear as he spun in place—obviously waiting for the other shoe—or dart in this case—to drop.

John's lips twitched up. He let himself be amused. He needed the levity, something other than the feeling of dread that was threatening to overcome him. "First time off world?"

Zelenka looked up at him, his eyes wide behind his glasses. "Yes."

"Well, if there were any more Wraith, they would have attacked by now." He waited for the opening he knew the other man wouldn't be able to resist.

"Really?"

"If it makes you feel better." He grinned at the chagrined look he received, and then sobered again. "Did you find what we want?" Please, please, if there is a higher power...

"Uh, well, yes," Zelenka said, shaking himself a little as he changed gears in his mind. Shoving his glasses back into place, he continued, "but it’s very complex. This interface controls the machine that dematerializes people, stores their information and then rematerializes them again when commanded to."

"Great!" John wanted to whoop with joy. Rodney was still in there somewhere! "Command it to!"

"Uh. I can't," Zelenka said, with no explanation, but thankfully Carson jumped in, obviously knowing how much John was trying to hold back.

"From what we can tell, the materializer is storing two life signs."

"Yes," Zelenka said, nodding.

And there went his heart, back into his boots. He struggled to keep it out of his expression and voice though. "Which is good?"

"Yes, but there is only enough power in the dart’s energy cell to successfully rematerialize one of them," Zelenka said, moving so John could see the screen on the laptop. The display was pretty self-explanatory—two life signs—but John let him continue. "Power to the rematerializer has been completely severed and emergency back-up power is completely run down."

"Okay..." John wasn't sure where this was going, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't like it.

"You have to decide which one we’re going to beam out." Moving the laptop in John's direction, Zelenka looks at him, waiting for him.

Carson's eyes were compassionate. "That’s a terrible choice to have to make."

He didn't really understand why. "It's easy. Beam out McKay. He'll figure out how to get Cadman free." It seemed obvious...

"No, no, no, sorry—I was unclear," Radek said, shaking his head, his hair moving with him.

Carson leaned forward, his hand gesturing as he explained. "There’s no way of telling which is which."

"Yes. They just read as life signs."

"Perfect." Oh fucking god.... He looked at the screen, trying to determine some difference, something that would tell him which one was Rodney. They were the same blinking dots on a screen. They looked the same. Exactly the same. He had nothing. Swallowing hard, he pointed. "All right. That one. Go." He looked at the others loitering around. "Stand aside."

Radek shifted the laptop in his hands before hitting the final key to trigger the activation of his quickly-built fix. With a high-pitched hum, a strange beam shot out of the back end of the dart—like the heat rising off the pavement in the summer—and Rodney was standing there.

"Rodney? You okay?" John wanted to run to him, wrap his arms around him, and kiss him senseless, but instead he licked his lips and silently thanked whoever had listened to him. He wasn't a religious man, but he wasn't above being grateful either.

"Huh," Rodney said, tilting his head to the side before his eyes rolled back in his head and he dropped to the ground unconscious. John cringed. There would be bruises from that. Carson was at the scientist's side a second later, checking his vitals.

"His pulse is stable but I need to get him back to Atlantis," he finally reported without looking up at John. He was already trying to get Rodney's limp body upright—seemingly from sheer strength of will.

John closed his eyes, once more forcing his personal feelings down in favor of being the military commander. Rodney was alive—that was enough for now. "Teyla, Lorne, help the Doc head back to the city with McKay. We’re gonna stay here with Zelenka. Try to bring as much of the dart back as possible."

Lorne and Teyla offered a quick affirmative before they were helping Carson get Rodney's unconscious body down the hill to the gate and back home. At least there he'd be safe.

"Should I not go as well?" Radek asked, his eyes wide, flicking between John and the slow-moving group heading down the hill.

John shook his head. "Sorry, Doc, but I need you here to supervise. I still have a soldier trapped in there, and I want to make sure there are no mistakes made bringing her home. Let the men know what can be taken apart and in what order. Move quickly. I want to get us all back through the gate before his friends get curious and come looking for him."

***

Rodney McKay's welcome back to consciousness hadn't been exactly what he expected. Granted, waking up in the Atlantis infirmary was much better than waking up in a holding cell on a Wraith hive ship—so that was good.

The bad part, the part that really got him heading in a "oh my god I'm so screwed" line of thinking, was the whole "hearing another voice in your head" thing.

That was never good.

Never.

No matter what strange alien thing that happened, hearing someone else in your head signified two things. One: you were crazy. Two: You weren't crazy, but probably going to die a painful, horrible death in the future because no matter what the science fiction movies told you, two brains was never, ever a good thing.

After taking his hands away from his face, he looked up at Carson, sheepishly realizing he looked like a complete and utter ass and a nut case on top of it. But first things first. He had to get Cadman out of his head. Now.

"Carson. Hi."

"Hello." Carson's eyebrow was almost into his hair line.

Yeah. Carson was just biding his time until he called Kate. Rodney could tell by the tone of Beckett's voice. He needed to be calm. He needed answers. "Who got us out of the dart?"

"Zelenka. But he only got you out. Lieutenant Cadman is still trapped inside the dart." He was using the 'humor the crazy person' voice.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," Rodney said, shaking his head, Cadman's "This cannot be happening," echoing in his head. This was bad. Worse than bad. This was horrible. Too horrible to even begin to imagine or comprehend.

"Cadman’s not trapped in the dart," Rodney said, looking at Carson.

"Excuse me?" Now both eyebrows went up.

"She’s in here." Rodney pointed to his head, trying to make the other man understand just how screwed up this was.

"She's... what?"

"She can see what I see, hear what I'm saying and what you're saying to me as if she were sitting here in this stupid infirmary," Rodney said, some of his own panic starting to bleed through. "What did Zelenka do?"

Carson's eyes widened. "All right, lad, calm down. Let me call down to the hangar and let them know you're awake and what the problem is so they don't do anything... I'll be right back." He turned and slipped out the door.

This was bad. And horrible. And bad. Rodney couldn't not turn over the bad, horrible possibilities in his mind. He couldn't live like this. They had to get her out.

In his head, another voice echoed. "Okay, you can fix this right? You can get me out? Because, no offense, but I really don't want to spend the rest of my life in your head."

"I don’t know," Rodney said, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he had another consciousness in his brain. "I don't know what Zelenka did, I have no idea what happened. The last thing I remember was arguing with you over what constituted inappropriate field conversation."

She started to respond but Rodney got distracted when John walked in. "Hey, buddy! You're awake! You had us all pretty worried there for a while." He smiled, the soft, fleeting look Rodney knew was reserved for him. John must have been out of his mind with worry. "I have to admit, I feel better about getting Cadman out knowing you'll be on the job now, too."

"I…" he started, feeling John's hand on his ankle through the infirmary sheets and blankets. The same touch that managed to calm him every time things got out of control. But before he could say more, Carson was bustling back in, a science uniform in his hands.

John's hand moved away, and he tapped his radio, obviously responding to something incoming. "Yeah, he's awake, and Beckett is bringing him down it looks like. I'll head down with him and you can brief me then when you get him up to speed. The sooner we get my Marine out of there, the better. We have no idea what the long-term effects of being in a dart are."

Between Carson and John talking at him and about him and Cadman wanting to know what he was going to do, Rodney just wanted someone to give him the good drugs and knock him out again so he wouldn't have to deal with any of this right now. He'd been awake now all of ten minutes and he was being inundated from every side.

He just wanted everything to go back to how it was before. Was that too much to ask?

Rodney dressed quickly before they headed to the labs, tying his shoes in place moments before Carson ushered him forward. Zelenka was waiting.

John signed off his radio just as they started to walk down the hall, his fingers brushing across the back of Rodney's hand. "Sorry to throw all this at you. It's been a crazy day so far. You all right?"

The touch was casual, fleeting, but it jolted Rodney down to his core—knowing what he knew, with Cadman in his head. But how could he say something to John without tipping his hand to Cadman in the first place? "I'm…it's a little overwhelming," he finally said, aiming for the understatement of the year.

"I bet. But I know Carson won't clear you for a late night tonight. I'll come get you later for a quiet dinner. Maybe Round up Teyla for a movie? I'd rather have you rested and thinking straight after a few hours off, than working through the night and running yourself into the ground."

"I don't know if that will be on the agenda," Rodney said cautiously, feeling John's hand settle briefly—a few seconds if that—in the small of his back as they made their way down the hall.

John winked at him, sending another jolt through Rodney's body before he could stop it. "We'll see. For now, see what you can do to help get Zelenka on the right track for fixing this damn thing so we can get Cadman out. We'll deal with the rest later, okay?"

Rodney could hear Cadman's surprised exclamation in his head at Sheppard's actions, drawing conclusions faster than Rodney was comfortable with. But he ignored it, hoping that it would just go away.

Their arrival in the large science lab where the ruined dart had been brought pulled his panicking thoughts to a complete standstill as Zelenka started to explain what he'd done.

The tray of transformer bits was the last straw, however.

"Oh, nice work!" Rodney shook his head, rolling his eyes, the sarcasm thick.

Radek looked harried, his hair standing up more than usual. "We were running out of power. I knew hardly anything about the machine. Who would have thought this could be one of the side effects?"

"So instead of waiting to understand what it was that you were doing, you just sort of mashed on the keyboard hoping something would happen!" This was unbelievable. He had a hitchhiker in his brain because Zelenka hadn't taken the time to actually figure out what was wrong.

"Well, you’re alive, aren’t you?"

"Ask him if he knows how to fix it," Cadman's voice broke through again. Demanding. Insistent.

"He doesn’t know how to fix it!" This was worse than anything else that could have happened to him. This was hell.

Radek blinked. "What?"

"I’m talking to her," Rodney said, pointing at his head as he looked at Elizabeth Weir, John, and Carson as they stood to the side watching. Yeah. He looked sane. He could see the nice padded room now.

John's eyes widen fractionally, even as Elizabeth stepped forward, concern all over her face. "You can hear her thoughts?"

"No," he said, shaking his head, "not her thoughts, thank God. I can hear when she's speaking...or when I suppose she’s trying to speak." He looked at John, trying to convey his apologies, needing John to understand.

John gave him a barely perceptible nod. Even if he didn't understand, Rodney knew he had his lover's trust.

Elizabeth's eyes never left him as she leaned over to talk to Beckett. "Are you sure he should have been discharged from the infirmary, Carson?"

"According to the MRI, he’s as healthy as he ever was." The doctor was also watching him, frowning slightly.

"It doesn’t feel very healthy in here." Of course Cadman had to offer that lovely crack.

"Well, we can’t all be track stars, now, can we?" He asked, the comment directed inward, receiving strange looks from everyone else in the room. The straight jacket was on its way down. He was sure of it. "It was her again."

John leaned over, lips twitching up slightly as he addressed Beckett. He winked at Rodney. "Maybe there’s something wrong an MRI wouldn’t pick up, if you know what I mean."

Carson's lips twitched as well, although he still looked concerned.

"I’m not crazy. I just have another consciousness in my brain," McKay said, scowling at John. Whatever happened to understanding and not poking fun of the man with two brains?

"So he just looks crazy." John was watching Rodney carefully, concern heavy under the intentionally light tone. He was trying to keep up appearances in a room full of people, but the lightness still hurt.

"I’m sure I do, but only because Doctor Fumbles McStupid over here," he said, gesturing at Radek who'd fallen silent, simply listening to everything, "was in way over his head."

"Yes, yes, I made a mistake trying to save your life. Now, do you want to try to fix it, or do you want to continue to berate me some more?" Radek rolled his eyes and glared at the same time.

McKay pointed at his chest as he turned to stand toe-to-toe with Zelenka. "I’m perfectly capable of doing both at the same time. Now, I assume you’ve tried to run one of our own generators on it?"

Huffing, Radek started to turn towards the equipment, explaining. "It is not as simple as that..."

"Why not?" Cadman asked, breaking what little concentration Rodney had.

"...The trick is having it interface with the Wraith machine in real time." Radek gestured to a piece of equipment. "The power fluctuations are, are, are huge. If we overshoot just a little..."

"Wait, wait, what does that mean?" Rodney wished he could just will Cadman to shut up.

"...we've screwed up." Radek turned to look at him expectantly.

"Yeah, yeah," McKay said, nodding even though he knew he missed most of Radek's explanation. "Um, I’m sure if we can maybe run an interface program that will take care of all the..."

"Hullooo? Rodney? Will you please answer me?"

Maybe if he ignored her she'd go away, Rodney thought, trying to concentrate on his orders to Radek. "Uh, here’s what I want us to try."

"Rodney!"

"We’ll take a, uh, naquadah generator..."

"Ro-o-o-odney!"

"...and, um ..."

"Rodney. Rodney!"

"...and, uh ..."

"Rodney! Rodney!"

"Yes? What?" he finally screamed, her voice and her nagging finally getting the better of him—and rewarding him with odd looks from everyone else in the room.

"Stop ignoring me."

"Well, stop asking stupid questions!" This was horrible. And bad. And insane. Why did these horrible, bad things always happen to him?

John's eyes were wide again, the attempt at humor from earlier gone from his expression. Carson took a step forward, his own face and voice worried. "Rodney..."

"I will get you out of here, okay? Now just be a good little girlie and keep quiet," Rodney said, focusing entirely on the voice in his head.

"Don’t you dare condescend me! This is as much my problem as it is yours," Cadman replied, her words sharp, snippy.

"And do you have a degree in physics, hmm? Well, what about mechanical engineering, huh?"

"Rodney?"

"Yes, what?" Rodney asked, his tone harsh, sharp—realizing a few moments later that it was Elizabeth who had spoken. Damn, damn, damn. He closed his eyes briefly and took a breath. "Sorry. I’m sorry. What, please?"

Her voice was gentle. "Why don't we let Zelenka handle this?"

"I’m fine." He had to be fine. He had to fix this.

John shook his head, speaking quietly. "No, you're not." ~~~~  


Elizabeth put her hand on his arm. "And I'd like you to talk to Doctor Heightmeyer."

Oh, here it went. They thought he was crazy. "I think it’d be more useful if I was to—"

"Rodney, I'm not asking you." Elizabeth was using Teyla's 'placate the natives but make no mistake she can kick your ass before breakfast' voice. He idly wondered when she had picked it up.

Looking around, Rodney finally realized that the entire contingent of personnel in the science lab was looking at him. He huffed, narrowing his eyes. "Fine."

Throwing a scowl at everyone, he stomped away and walked out of the lab without looking back.

A moment later, a hand on his arm stopped him. John's eyes were serious. "We'll figure this out. Just... hang in there, okay?"

"I don't have much of a choice now, do I?" Rodney asked, knowing his voice was bitter, angry. The one person he wanted to help him couldn't.

John sighed quietly. "Zelenka isn't you, but he's not dog meat either. If he was, you wouldn't have made him your second. Have faith in him, okay?"

"Like I said, I don't have much say in the matter and with her in my head," he said pointing. "I'll be lucky to get anything accomplished."

John's eyes flicked to Rodney's hand, following the line of his finger before darting away. "Right. I'll still come find you later for dinner, after your visit with Heightmeyer, okay? Teyla will be there, and I'm trying to convince Elizabeth to let me have Ronon as our new fourth."

Ronon. Oh, the barbarian. "Sure, fine," Rodney said, deflating a little. He and John had planned a nice dinner for tonight after the mission. So much for that.

John's eyes flicked again, and Rodney caught the twitch of his hand out of the corner of his eye. "I'll let you go then. If you aren't in Heightmeyer's office within a 'reasonable' amount of time, Elizabeth will send out the hounds."

"Yes, because we all know what kind of menace I could be with a Marine in my head." Rodney rolled his eyes.

This time John grinned slightly. "She's an explosives expert. Between the two of you, I'm afraid. Very afraid. Cadman, if you can hear me, try not to abuse my geek too much. I still need him."

"Sure you do, Sheppard," Cadman commented snidely, making Rodney stiffen slightly.

"I didn't need her help to be menacing," Rodney said. "Remember I built nukes when I was a kid."

"That's why I'm afraid. Between your electronics and physics, and her intimate knowledge of all things that go boom, you could be a force to be reckoned with. I'm just glad you've never been the type for world domination."

"I guess we'll find out, won't we?"

John opened his mouth, and then rolled his eyes before hitting his radio. "Sheppard, here. All right, I'm on my way. Thanks." He smiled at Rodney. "Ronon is getting restless. I think I'll go see what he can actually do, and give him a constructive outlet for his energy. Catch you later?"

Rodney nodded, wanting more, needing more, but having to be happy with this…friendship-only thing until he got rid of his visitor. Life sucked sometimes.

John winked. "Try not to drive each other crazy. Catch you later, Rodney, Cadman."

Rodney scowled at John's retreating back before turning on his heel and heading down to Kate's office. This was just…this sucked.

"You are so leading Katie on, you bastard."

"Just shut up. I don't want to hear it."

"No, you're going to hear it. What the hell, McKay?"

Rodney stopped in the middle of the hallway, his hands gesturing as if Cadman could see him. "What the hell, what? What do you want from me? I didn't invite you into my head and I have no intention of letting you stay."

"Why the hell are you leading Katie on? You're going to break her heart."

"I'm not going to do any such thing."

"You're going on a date with her, Rodney. She thinks you like her, but it's obvious—"

"Nothing is obvious," Rodney said, starting to walk again. "Why don't you just mind your own damn business?"

"Right now this is my business. I mean, you and Sheppard are pretty surprising, but—"

"But nothing. None of your business."

She was quiet for a moment. "If you are, um, together with Sheppard, which I'm cool with by the way, why are you—OH MY GOD, YOU'RE CHEATING ON SHEPPARD, YOU BASTARD!"

Rodney stopped dead still again, his hands clutching his head at Cadman's shriek. "Would you stop that!"

"I am so kicking your ass when I get my body back. How could you? He's such a great catch and he's obviously into you. Why the hell would you screw this up by cheating on him?"

"I'm not. Would you just butt out of my business?"

"You have a date with her. You're with Sheppard—and don't try to deny it, I felt the way you reacted to him. Are you freaking out? Because cheating isn't the way to resolve that."

"I’m not freaking out and this is absolutely none of your business so stop talking about it."

"I'm not going to drop it until you give me a good reason why you have a date with Katie Brown while you're dating Colonel Sheppard. And I do have to give you props—I never would have guessed if I hadn't felt you go all soft and squishy when he touched you."

"I do not go all…" Rodney broke off the comment with a huff, stalking down the hall again. "Not talking about this."

"Why are you cheating? Why are you cheating? Why are you cheating? I can keep this up all day, Rodney." She sing-songed the last bit.

"Not talking about this," he said through gritted teeth.

"Why are you cheating? Why are you cheating? Why are you cheating? Why are you cheating? Why are you cheating?"

"I'm not."

"You're going on a date with—"

"I'm. Not. Cheating. End of the conversation."

"It's cheating if he doesn't know you're going on a date with someone else."

"I'm not cheating."

She was silent for a few heartbeats. "He knows? Why would... Oooooooooooh. This is because of DADT, isn't it? You're using Katie to throw people off the scent, aren't you?"

Rodney sighed, running a hand over his face. "Can you just drop this?"

"You're still going to break her heart, you know. She doesn't know this is just a cover for you and Sheppard. She really thinks you like her, and she's really excited about the date."

"It's dinner with a colleague. Nothing more."

"She thinks it's a date."

"Then she's misinformed. It's dinner."

"You even admitted it was a date on the planet."

"Can we not talk about this?" Rodney was seriously considering stunning himself into unconsciousness.

"Fine. I'll let it go for now. But I'm going to be thinking about it."

Grumbling under his breath, Rodney resumed his walk to Kate's, ducking around people that got in his way. Cadman of course couldn't leave well enough alone. Apparently she was incapable of keeping silent for longer than a few minutes.

"Oh, stop sulking. You’re acting like a two year old."

Why did this have to happen to me? Rodney asked himself before replying verbally to Cadman. "This is your fault, you know."

"How’d you figure that?"

"All you had to do was keep your mouth shut while I was working."

Her voice took on a loaded tone. "You have no idea what it’s like in here, okay?"

Rodney stopped again, his hands gesturing as he talked, more or less, to himself. "Yes, yes, I do. I know exactly what it’s like in here because I live in here. I like it here!"

From behind him, a soft voice broke into his rant. "Rodney?"

Cadman offered very unhelpful advice. "Be cool!"

He turned, coming face-to-face with Katie Brown, the botanist he was supposed to have dinner with tomorrow, the same one Cadman had screamed at him about. Somehow she had to have planned this, however unlikely it could be given her current location in his head.

"Katie. Hi."

"Is, uh, everything okay?" Katie's expression wavered between concern and adoration.

"Yes! Yes!" he nodded frantically, knowing he looked like an idiot. "Everything is just fine. I was just, uh..."

Finally Cadman offered up something useful. "Talking on the radio! Talking on the radio!"

"... talking on the radio," he repeated, wiggling his fingers toward his headset. "You’re well, I take it?"

"I, uh, heard you ran into some trouble off-world today..." Katie did a head-tilt thing, looking at him from under her lashes.

"Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes," he said, waved his hands in the air, "but everything’s fine now. It’s all been sorted out. Back to normal." As if.

"Good." A smile stretched her face. "So we're still on for tomorrow?"

"Yes, yes. Yes, actually, I’m ... very much looking forward to it. In fact, I’m sure it’ll be a, uh, ... you know, a wonderful ... evening and whatnot."

"Right, well, see you then!" She smiled again before continuing down the hall.

"Mmm," he said, watching as she walked away. Katie turned around briefly to look at him again before disappearing around the corner.

"You really know nothing about women do you?" Cadman again, damn her.

He didn't need this right now. "I know plenty."

"Maybe this is a good thing."

"Excuse me?" He heard his voice rise. A good thing? This was anything except good.

"I could teach you a thing or two about the opposite sex, McKay. Lord knows you need it!"

Rodney sighed, before stalking down the hall again. "This is hell. This is my own personal hell."

"Do you want to avoid breaking her heart? Or were you planning on gloating when she shatters into a thousand tiny pieces?"

"She'll be fine. It's just dinner."

"And I'm telling you, she was practically writing Rodney and Katie forever with little hearts around it in her notebooks. If you wanted to have a nice uncomplicated thing to throw people off the gay thing, you didn't pick a very good woman. She's too into you for it to work."

"For your information I'm bi and that is something I would have picked up on if that was the case," Rodney said quietly, knowing there were others in the hallway.

"Bi whatever. Look, you have an opportunity here. You need to have a date to convince Atlantis you aren't having wild man-sex with the Colonel. But you also need to not leave said date sobbing her eyes out and turning the entire female contingent against you. That's counterproductive."

Rodney rolled his eyes.

"I felt that. Look, I can help you. This could be just what you need."

Rodney paused again, ducking onto a small balcony. "How do you think that this is something that I want or need?"

"Because I felt the way you reacted when Colonel Sheppard touched you. And I saw the way he looked at you. Hell, he voluntarily touched you and I don't think I've ever seen him do that before. But if you need to stage a date to make sure no one is looking, you need a woman to help make it go smoothly."

"I don't need any help."

He could hear her silent snort. "I can feel your reactions, remember? You're terrified, Rodney."

"Why can't you just go back where you came from?"

"I will—after I help you and Colonel Sheppard throw the hounds off the scent. I want to be a bridesmaid when they repeal DADT."

"Oh, just shut the hell up," he groaned, heading for Kate's office once again.

Hell. This was hell.

***

It was probably wrong on a lot of levels to enjoy watching his Marines being pounded into the ground. Effortlessly. God, this was better than a movie. He wished he’d thought to bring popcorn.

After leaving the gym and a whole pile of moaning men, John moved them to the firing range.

When Rodney was better, he was _so_ convincing him to reverse engineer Ronon's gun for him. Maybe for his birthday.

Rodney.

Fuck.

And he had been doing so well distracting himself from their current situation.

He spent the rest of the day showing the former Runner the ropes, and trying desperately not to think about the fact that his lover had a roommate in his body. Cadman was relatively new, so he had no idea what she would do if she guessed…

So he was surprised when he ran into Rodney in the corridors, wandering seemingly as aimlessly as John was. “You’re up late.”

Rodney turned to him, exhaustion lining his face. John wanted to reach out and stoke his face, smooth out the lines.

But he couldn't. Instead, he clenched his hands into fists, letting his arms hang at his sides.

"Mmm," Rodney said, focusing on John a moment later. "I couldn’t sleep. I was, uh, trying to clear my head."

“I, uh, hear the transformer test didn’t go so well.” It wasn’t what he wanted to say, to do. But it was all he was allowed right now. His hands just tightened.

Rodney's mouth twitched in a humorless half smile. "Well, you heard right."

“Uh, listen. I wanted you to know that I gave the command to take the dart down…” He needed Rodney to know both that he was sorry, and that he had functioned as a commander—his inability to do so where Rodney was concerned being a sore spot between them at times.

"Look, much as I’d like to pretend that this is remotely your fault, the thought of what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shot the Dart down is, uh..." Rodney said, wiggling his fingers as the words trailed off.

“So, we’re cool?” I love you. I want to hold you, reassure myself you’re okay. I want to tie you down and make you scream with pleasure.

"No, you’re cool, I’m fine."

“You should get some sleep.” John tried to put a little of his ‘top’ tone into it, hoping Rodney would go lie down. It had been a long day.

Rodney's eyes glazed over for a sec, before he pointed to his head. "She says she’s tired."

Swallowing hard, remembering that everything they said and did was under observation, John took a step back, mentally begging Rodney to understand. This really, really sucked. “Goodnight.”

John wandered to his own bed, his empty bed. Sleeping alone sucked. After a restless night, he decided the next morning that more distraction was in order. He headed for the gym first thing, glad for once of his standing appointment with Teyla for sparring.

So when he arrived and found her already fighting—with Dex—he was a little put out. “I thought we were supposed to be sparring today?”

Teyla turned to him on the mat. "You were late. So Ronon and I..."

Ronon took that opportunity to jump her, taking her down hard. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He leapt to his teammate’s defense, knowing all the while that Ronon could probably break him in half if he wanted to. But he wasn’t going to stand there and watch Teyla get ground into the mat either.

"I wouldn’t have hurt her." Ronon's tone was matter of fact.

“You sure in hell looked like you were going to.” He glared at the other man for a moment before turning back to Teyla. “You okay?”

"I am fine," she said, putting a hand to her throat as Ronon stormed out of the room, his escort trailing behind. "I told him that he did not have to go easy on me."

“You’ve gotta be careful what you say to this guy.” They weren’t a team yet. He wanted to trust Ronon, but he had to admit, it would take time.

"I am fine, John," she said, already moving to pick up her sticks.

He raised an eyebrow. "You're still up for more?"

"He did not injure me. I left myself unguarded and he simply took advantage of a situation—as I would have. Are you not up to sparring?"

Shaking his head, John picked up his own sticks and moved into position. "I'll tell you now, I don't know how good of a partner I'll be. I'm a little distracted."

"It is understandable," she said with a nod of her head. "How is Doctor McKay?"

He fell into the rhythm of defend and attack, knowing she was going easy on him. For now. "Stressed. He has another person in his brain, seeing everything he does, everything he feels. I know he just wants it to be over. It doesn't help matters that his date with Katie Brown is supposed to be tonight."

"He is going through with it?" Teyla asked as she moved forward, attacking.

"As far as I know. To be honest, I haven't seen him much." John concentrated on getting his sticks up in time to block. "I have no idea how much we'll give away with her in his head like that."

"And you still worry about this?"

He barely managed to defend himself from a flurry of attacks before she backed off again, circling him. "I have to. With so many new personnel... This is home now. Call me selfish, but I want my lover and I want my commission and position here on Atlantis."

She was quiet for a few minutes, watching him, stalking him. "And you fear Lieutenant Cadman may do something to you or Doctor McKay?"

He made an attempt to attack and was quickly driven back again before they fell into the 'stalk' mode again. "I don't know. She seems nice enough, but she's not one of us, not yet. I don't want to take any chances."

"She has settled in well."

John wanted to believe she wouldn't care, but you just never knew. Men he had thought were open minded, people he had called friends a long time ago, had beaten a man bloody when they found out he swung both ways. John hadn't heard about it until later, but it had made him sick that he had misjudged people that badly. "I just don't know. I really hope I'm just being paranoid and after this is over she'll be cool. But I can't take that risk, not when it could potentially hurt Rodney."

Teyla nodded, gliding around him. "Do you wish my assistance?"

He paused for a moment, silently willing her to understand. "I need to not think about it for a little while. Make me work."

She tilted her head to the side before nodding once. A few seconds later and her sticks were whizzing through the air and John had barely enough time to get his own sticks into place before she was moving again. And again.

He lost himself in the pull of muscle and skin, the movements, the parry and attack. It was enough for now.

***

Right now, Rodney McKay hated one Lieutenant Cadman with a passion he usually reserved for idiots and lemons.

Not only had she taken his body for a run, she's seen him naked—and for no apparent good reason either.

But now she was forcing him to go through with this stupid dinner with Katie even though he was going to cancel it. Come on. Who had dinner with someone when you had a hitchhiker in your brain?

Apparently, he was going to.

And she wasn't letting him go in his science uniform.

"It's a date, Rodney! You get dressed up for dates. Trust me."

"It's not a date. As I've been explaining to you time and time again," Rodney said through clenched teeth as he dug through his closet, "this is not a date. In no way, shape, or form is this a date."

"She thinks it's a date. That means it is."

"It's dinner."

"She's cooking for you."

"I don't care if it's take out, it's just dinner." Rodney pulled out one of the button-down shirts and a pair of khakis John had made him get when they were on Earth.

"Dinner with intent. Don't you and Sheppard go on dates? You should be an old pro."

Rodney paused, his jaw clenching tighter. "None of your business."

She silently chuckled. "We're totally going to make her feel special and not crushed at all. I'm saving you years of animosity from half the base, McKay."

"I'm in hell. That's what this is," he said, tugging off his shirt. "And don't look."

"I look where you look, remember. And anyway, you're not as badly built as I would have thought."

"Just…shut up." One shirt on, fingers quickly buttoning up.

"I have to know—is Sheppard as good looking without clothes as he is with them? Because I've known some pretty handsome fellows who should never, ever have taken off their shirts."

Rodney felt his cheeks flush red as he tugged off his uniform pants, quick switching for the khakis.

"Ooo, you're blushing aren't you? And wow, are you actually getting... just from thinking about it? Huh. So, exceptionally hot then."

"Just shut up," he muttered, willing the start of his erection to go down. He did not want to have to do something about it with her in his head.

"Wow. You're a really lucky guy. You know that, right, McKay? I mean, you've managed to bag the single hottest person on the base, possibly in the galaxy. And he's a nice guy, too."

"What, as opposed to me?" he asked, walking to the bathroom to see what disaster he'd made of his hair.

He could hear the eye-roll again. "We aren't talking about you. Sheppard is both beautiful and nice. You don't often find both in the same package. And you wouldn't be dating him if you disagreed, so don't even go there."

"Can we just stop with this whole topic?"

"I wonder if we could convince him to kiss you while I'm still in here. I should get something out of this."

Rodney closed his eyes, his hand slapping against his forehead. "Just…stop. Please."

She gave a dirty chuckle. "Is he good in bed, or is he one of those guys who expects you to do all the work?"

He sighed, not wanting to go there—seeing that he was working on two days without any kind of action. "Look, Cadman. For your information—and I'm hoping that this will get you to shut up—we are more or less married in everything except the stupid piece of paper. Yes, we even have rings. Sheppard is not worried about me dating anyone or seeing anyone because I have no desire to see anyone except him. Do you understand? Do you comprehend or it is beyond your current ability?"

She made a cooing noise. "Oh, that is just so adorable. You two were cute together when I just thought you were best friends, but this is so much _better_. Okay, we are totally going to make this date work so you can both throw the idiots off the scent and not crush Katie at the same time."

Rodney sighed again, his hands cradling his head. "I'm doomed."

"Aww, come on, Rodney. Let me help you. I actually like you for some reason and the Colonel is one of the best commanders I've ever served under. Let me do this for you."

"Why can't you just go back to your own body and just leave me the hell alone?"

She was quiet for a heartbeat. "Look, I know this is hard. How do you think I feel? This is a good distraction though. For both of us."

"Next you're going to ask John and me to…"

He felt a stab of arousal and realized it was hers. "If I thought you would... god, that would be hot. And I'd keep my mouth shut..."

"No. Absolutely not. Even though John has this strange kink for public sex—no."

"He does? Wow. What other kinks does he have? Come on, Rodney. It's talk about this or panic. Sex is a lot more fun, don't you think?"

"No. Actually, right now I prefer panic."

"You're no fun at all."

"I was perfectly happy and content until you showed up," he grumbled, his fingers fixing his hair before heading into the main section of his quarters.

"And I was happy being in my own skin. At least you're in your own body. Jacket, McKay. Don't forget it."

"What jacket?" he asked, looking around. He hadn't taken out a jacket.

"I know you have to have one here somewhere. Put on a blazer."

"It's dinner with a colleague. What does it matter?"

"Put on a jacket."

Rodney sighed before stomping over to the closet and digging around inside. He found a blue blazer he'd forgotten he had and tugged it free. "With this meet your exacting requirements?"

She took control of his body and moved to the mirror, smoothing down his hair and tugging everything into place before relinquishing control again. "There we go. Perfect."

"What the hell did you just do?" he asked, jumping back once he finally got control again.

"Fixed your hair."

Rodney scowled. "You know exactly what I meant."

"You knew I could do it—you were there when we figured it out. Why the big surprise?"

"It's my body."

"And I'm a guest in it right now."

"And if I had the opportunity, I'd toss you out on your ass."

"If that means getting me back into my own body where I belong, I'm all for that. Now come on, Casanova. You have a date to take care of."

Rodney sighed, shaking his head as he headed out the door. "Why am I even listening to you?"

And the date—dinner—was the hell he thought it would be even before the unthinkable happened.

Cadman had totally hijacked his body. She kissed Katie and dipped—dipped!—her, and then gave Carson that look and he felt those feelings and… Okay, he had no desire to see or feel that.

And then she'd been unrepentant, claiming it was for the best, but now he had to go and have dinner again with Katie when he didn't want to do it in the first place.

Then, things had gone from bad to worse once he was called down to the science lab where he got to watch Zelenka scorch the latest batch of mice.

He was such a dead man. There was no way he was going to get Cadman out of his head. He'd be trapped this way forever and never have sex with John again.

John jogged to catch up with him in the hall, falling into step next to him. "Hey, we'll figure this out. It was a failure, but how many times have you told me it doesn't matter how many times you get it wrong—the only one that counts is when you figure out how to get it right."

Rodney glanced to the side, scowling. "That's easy for you to say and she knows."

John blinked. "Knows...what?"

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed John's arm and dragged him into the nearest transporter, hitting the area for the senior quarters. "Knows knows."

All at once, John's face lost most of its color. "Oh...fuck..."

"Look, it's not my fault," Rodney hissed. "It's your fault if you have to know."

John's tongue darted out to wet his lips. "My fault?"

Rodney scowled at him and tugged him out of the transporter, letting go once they were in the hallway. They moved silently to John's quarters, stepping inside a few beats later. "Yes, your fault."

John sat down on the bed, head in his hands. "Fuck. Cadman... Do you... Does she.... Is this going to cause problems?"

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest. "She thinks it's cute."

One eyebrow went up. "Cute? We are not cute."

"She disagrees."

"Is she...in there now?"

Rodney paused, listening. He didn't hear anything. "I think she might be giving us some privacy or something."

John blinked again, then slowly reached out, catching Rodney's hand in his, thumb dragging over the back. "So we're alone for the moment, huh?"

As soon as John's hand touched his, Rodney felt the world shift and all of a sudden he wasn't in the driver's seat anymore. Oh crap! "Yes, we are," he heard his voice say, but it wasn't him. It was her.

He yelled and screamed, but she wasn't listening.

John tugged, and his body stepped forward obligingly, fitting in between John's legs. His lover's arms came up to circle around his waist, his head resting against Rodney's stomach. "I miss touching you. I haven't even been able to see for myself if you're really okay after being inside that fucking dart."

"It's a little…overwhelming."

John looked up, and even though he wasn't in control of his body, those hazel eyes, looking up through long lashes with so much affection took his breath away. "I know. Is it safe to make you forget for a little while?"

"I think it might be a prerequisite," Cadman said with Rodney's voice.

John chuckled, then leaned back, pulling Rodney/Cadman with him. He rolled them, so he was pressing their groins together, fitting their bodies together. "I think I can handle that."

Oh god! McKay panicked. John was really going to do this. But Cadman! She's here! She's the one starting this, letting this happen! Rodney didn't know what was worse—having sex with John while Cadman was in his head or Cadman having sex with John while pretending to be Rodney while he simply watched—and got really, really turned on.

John pushed Rodney's hands above his head, and he frantically told Cadman to leave them there. Then Sheppard pushed their shirt up and started to caress and kiss his way across Rodney's chest.

Each touch and kiss sent a jolt through his body, his cock hard as it rubbed against his clothes. John felt so good, made him feel so good.

Rodney heard his voice moaning, just out-of-synch enough for him to know that Cadman was enjoying it just as much as he was.

John just chuckled. "Give it up for me, lover. Just lie back and let me take care of you for a bit, while we have the chance." His clever, clever hands had popped the buttons on Rodney's slacks pulling them down and letting his now-aching erection spring free.

Rodney could feel John's hands on him, touching him, drawing pleasure from him. He knew what spots to touch, how to touch him to make Rodney melt. And suddenly Rodney thrust up slightly into John's hand and before he could realize Cadman had let him have his body back, John's lips were on his, kissing him.

John's tongue dove in, claiming, reminding Rodney who he belonged to. And all thoughts of Cadman and darts and charred mice flew right out of his head. All he cared about was John's mouth on his, John's hands touching him, John.

One of his hands was wound through John's hair, the other trailing over fabric in search of skin.

John made a soft noise, sitting up long enough to strip off his own shirt and wrestle Rodney's off completely. He planted another searing kiss on Rodney's mouth before moving down, kissing his spot once to warn him, then setting about renewing the fading mark there.

"Oh, god, John…" Rodney moaned, pushing up into John, wanting more friction, wanting more.

John just hummed, continuing to work at the mark until it was a deep purple. He made a satisfied noise then mouthed his way down Rodney's chest again, finding one aching nipple to suck on, while the other was rolled and pinched.

Rodney's hands clutched at John's bare shoulder, his fingers still threaded through hair, tugging and pulling and demanding. He wanted more, needed more, wanted John so badly.

John moaned around the nub of flesh, but finally released it, moving back up to claim Rodney's mouth in another kiss. His fingers wrapped around Rodney's erection again, lightly stroking while his tongue did wicked things.

Moaning into John's mouth, Rodney felt himself let go, giving himself into the pleasure, the smell, the feel of his lover.

John pulled back enough to whisper against Rodney's lips. "Good, boy. So good, Rodney. Gonna make you fly." He gently disentangled Rodney's hands from his hair and pressed them into the mattress. "Just lie back and enjoy."

"John…please…" Rodney moaned, but part of him knew this was wrong, that they shouldn't be doing this but…oh god, John made him feel so good.

John brushed their lips together again briefly before shimmying down. Before Rodney could protest, hot wet suction engulfed him. John gave really, really, _really_ good blowjobs when he wanted to.

And right now, he wanted to.

Surrounded by such perfect wet heat, Rodney groaned, clutching the sheets in an effort not to reach for John. Between the suction and John's wicked tongue thing and the hint of teeth, Rodney was beginning to soar.

His lover began to hum, a silent signal that he could come when he wanted to, that John wanted him to touch the sky.

With a sobbing moan, Rodney tried to thrust up, wanting more, but John's hands held him in place, keeping the pressure and the touch exactly right, but not quite enough to push him over the edge.

So Rodney hung on.

He felt a finger work into John's mouth alongside his cock, and he knew what was coming. He almost lifted off the bed, and was rewarded when that slick finger found his entrance, pressed just inside him as John suddenly sucked hard, pressing his tongue against the bundle of nerves on the underside of the head of Rodney's dick.

With a loud moan, the pressure in the base of his spine finally let go and he was coming, John swallowing down every drop, every pulse from Rodney's cock. He collapsed back against the mattress, limp and sated as the aftershocks rolled through his body even as John's tongue cleaned him up.

John hummed again, licking his lips as he moved back up the bed to kiss Rodney, letting him taste himself. He could feel John's erection, still trapped inside his BDUs, straining hard against the fabric.

Rodney shifted slightly, making sure he rubbed his leg against John's cock, hearing his lover groan.

"Rodney, oh god..." He panted into McKay's neck. John had an amazing ability to ignore his own need as long as he was pleasuring Rodney, but after Rodney had come, it was like it hit him in a blinding rush of arousal. "Touch me."

His hands were moving immediately, touching John's skin, fingers grazing over John's nipples on their way to other places, other patches of perfect skin.

John arched, grinding down as Rodney skimmed his sensitive spots. He rolled them again so Rodney was on top, and then lifted his hips, shoving down pants and boxers, whimpering a little as he finally sprang free. "Touch me. I can't be inside you right now, so make me come so hard I see stars."

Rodney shifted down, kissing at licking at skin the entire way. He sucked at John's nipples before heading to his bellybutton, thrusting his tongue in and out several times, making John squirm and moan under him.

And then, without any other warning, Rodney swallowed John down. With one hand carefully rolling and playing with John's balls, the other tweaked and pinched a nipple.

John made a strangled noise, hips thrusting up as Rodney played with his body. His nipples were incredibly sensitive, and any kind of prolonged teasing was generally enough to make him come quickly.

Using every trick in the book that he knew, Rodney worked at getting John off as quickly as possible. John's smell surrounded him, turning him on once again. It had only been a few days, but he missed this, missed John. He wanted to taste him.

When he came, John's entire body arched up, his head thrown back. Little trails of sweat ran down his chest and neck and into the sheets as he moaned. When he collapsed back down, his limbs twitched a few times with the aftershocks.

Rodney swallowed down every last drop before licking him clean and crawling up John's body to plant his face in his lover's shoulder. Rodney's arm curled around John's chest as he settled in, his half-hard cock against John's thigh.

John turned his head to nuzzle into Rodney's hair. "Mmmm. Sometimes I think you geeks keep super-Viagra hidden in the labs. Gimmie a sec and I'll take care of that for you."

"Missed you," Rodney whispered into skin.

"Missed you, too. I spent a few minutes thinking I would never see you again."

"I'm here."

"Thank god. Making the call to shoot down the dart was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do." John worked a finger under Rodney's chin, tilting his head up for a sweet kiss.

Rodney opened up, letting John in, kissing him back until they were both breathless, Rodney's erection pressing even more demandingly into John.

John climbed back on top, pressing down. "Think you can hang on until I'm ready to come again?"

"Please, John," Rodney whispered instead, looking up at the other man with wide eyes, eyes he knew were dilated in arousal and desire.

John ground down again, although he was still mostly soft. "I want to fuck you. God, please, I need to be inside you when you come again."

A nod was all John needed and he was reaching for the lube, digging it out of the bedside table. A single finger was coated in record time and pressing into Rodney, stretching him slightly. Rodney ground down, feeling John's finger slide in further.

He wanted more.

But John was taking his time, claiming Rodney's mouth again for lazy, heated kisses while he used a single finger to stretch and tease.

With a moaning whimper, Rodney tugged at John, trying to get him to speed up, but John wasn't budging.

When all thoughts had fled again, John finally pushed a second finger in to join the first, and then set up the same maddeningly slow pace he had taken with the first.

Rodney was begging and pleading with moans and whimpers, but John wouldn't stop, wouldn't speed up. By the time a third finger was added, Rodney was close to sobbing, John shushing and comforting him, praising him as he continued to send him higher.

"So good. Fall for me, Rodney. Let me see you come apart in my arms. So perfect, you're so goddamned perfect..." John's hips moved restlessly, and Rodney could feel that he was hard again.

He nodded, his eyes clenched tightly closed, the sensations surrounding him, John surrounding him. It took a few moments before Rodney finally felt himself let go, his body relaxing enough for John to feel it.

"Good, so good...." John's mouth found his again, and the fingers pulled free. He swallowed Rodney's whimper of protest before sitting back. A heartbeat later and he was pushing inside, filling Rodney, and claiming him.

Rodney whimpered as John stretched him, finishing what the fingers had begun. But it felt so good, so perfect. He'd missed his, needed this, wanted this.

With the same slow, measured movements from before, John let him adjust then started to thrust. He pushed Rodney's legs back, pinning him in place so all he could do was take it.

With his hands clutched around the headboard, Rodney just held on, letting John fuck him, moaning and whimpering and groaning with each and every thrust.

It felt like they had been there like that forever when finally—finally!—John's fingers curled around Rodney's erection, pumping it in time to his thrusts.

It didn't take much before Rodney felt himself coming, hard and sweet and oh so good. John followed behind him only moments later, Rodney's clenching ass muscles helping him along.

John moaned, pumping a few more times before pulling out as he collapsed onto the bed next to Rodney. A few half-hearted tugs and they were tangled together. "Love you..."

"Love you," Rodney whispered, already feeling his eyes sliding shut.

John just pulled him a little closer, body going limp as he fell asleep.

Time skipped ahead as Rodney slept soundly in John's arms, but it wasn't a morning erection that woke him up.

It was Cadman.

She was almost tentative. "I really hate to wake you up, but you have to pee, and I didn't want to be the one to pull you out of his arms."

"What?"

"I've been awake for a while, and your bladder is starting to protest. But... I swear, I didn't actually think things would go that far last night. You really needed him, and apparently he really needed you. I tried to pull back as much as I could, but... And I didn't want to jerk you away this morning."

"Oh my God!" Rodney exclaimed, shooting up to a sitting position, nearly knocking John to the floor.

Sheppard was grabbing for the gun he kept in the bedside table, getting it out and cocked and aimed at the door in no time flat. A naked, gun-toting John sprawled on the floor just shouldn't be that hot. "What? Who's invading? What blew up?"

"You! You!" Rodney sputtered, his entire body shaking.

"Me? I was sleeping? I didn't invade anywhere or blow anything up." He looked around the room and, apparently satisfied there wasn't a threat, slipped the safety back on the nine mil.

But Rodney was focused internally, not really paying attention to John as Cadman tried to apologize over and over again.

"You! She…she stole my body!"

John had started to stand, and froze. "She... what?"

"Hijacked my body for the third time in less than a day!"

John's eyes widened. "So last night... I... that wasn't..."

But Rodney was shaking his head, his body trembling with rage and embarrassment and humiliation and just… "You had no right do to that."

"I'm so sorry, Rodney," Cadman said, sounding slightly truthful. "God, I had no idea it would go that far. But you really need to tell him it wasn't me, not after the first move. Please, hate me if you want, but don't let this screw up your relationship."

Rodney glanced up at John, seeing the confusion and worry on his face. "She started it," he finally told John, still trying to wrap his own mind around the fact that Cadman had seen and felt everything.

John took a few hesitant steps forward. "But most of it... it was you right? Please tell me it was you..."

Rodney nodded. "Everything except the beginning."

John moved forward another step, reaching out to cup Rodney's face. "Cadman, since I know you're in there, I'll promise not to make your life hell for this if you promise not to make Rodney's life hell. And Rodney, while this isn't exactly ideal, and I know you aren't happy, public sex is never really an issue for me when it won't get me tossed out of the military on my ass. So don't freak because of that, okay?"

And just as the panic started to overtake him, Cadman took over, shoving Rodney to the back where he could panic all by himself.

"Sir, I'm sorry. I didn't think anything like that would happen. I'm so sorry."

John blinked, his hand dropping. "Okay, that's a little creepy. When did you learn to do that? Take him over like that?"

"Practice."

"Huh." John raised an eyebrow. "I trust this isn't going to be a problem once we have everything sorted out." Rodney had a hysterical moment in the back of his own head realizing John was standing around naked having this conversation with a Marine who had co-opted his body. And was also naked. Sheppard was right; this galaxy was fucking weird sometimes.

"Sir, I'm sorry. I'd been teasing McKay earlier about the two of you being a cute couple and all and I thought it would be fun to get him going a little, but I never, ever thought things would go this far."

John's eyebrow was permanently attached to his hairline. "You knew we were lovers, and that we hadn't been able to get together since the dart, so what, exactly did you think would happen?"

Rodney could feel Cadman's discomfort and was cheering John on in the background—in between his panic attacks and full-blown anger.

"Honestly, I didn't think you and him would…you know with me here."

"And when I asked, specifically, if we were alone before I did anything that wasn't a dead give-away as to what was coming?"

"I figured there'd be some kissing and necking and that would be it. I did give control of the body back to McKay. He could have stopped it."

"You were in his body so you felt his reactions. Do you really think he could have at that point? When I want him to relax, he doesn't fight me on it, Cadman."

"I…" Rodney could feel his face flushing as Cadman finally—finally!—got embarrassed. She pulled a sheet over Rodney's body, covering him slightly as she looked up at John. "I know that now, sir."

John rolled his eyes. "Honestly, since you and Rodney seem to be bonding, I'd be surprised if he didn't tell you I have a bit of a public sex kink. So while I prefer to actually be the one making that decision, it doesn't really bother me overly that we were... observed. But McKay doesn't feel the same way. He's the one you need to apologize to."

"He's fine," Cadman replied immediately, even though Rodney was screaming at her in the background. She wasn't listening. She never listened.

John's eyes narrowed. "Right. Because he was freaking out a few minutes ago, and then you hijacked his body—again—and probably without permission, to talk to me." He ran a hand through his hair, sitting down on the bed. "Look, why don't we all agree this won't happen again while the two of you are stuck together, and we will never speak of it again. Does that work for everyone?"

"I have no intention of breathing even the hint of it to anyone, sir."

Rodney noted that John's muscles relaxed slightly. "Good. So, with that out of the way, did we fulfill what you were looking for here? Or did you want to stick around for shower sex? Because both of us are sticky, and we do have jobs to do."

Rodney could feel Cadman's curiosity start to rise again as she tilted her head—his head—to the side. "Shower sex? I never knew McKay had it in him."

John stared at her for a moment, then threw his head back and laughed, the long, low, uncensored version that he rarely pulled out, even when they were alone. "This has got to be the funniest, most fucked up thing we have encountered in this galaxy yet. Yes, Cadman, McKay has it in him. He's very... bendy... when he wants to be. But if you ever try to make a move on him, I will hunt you down and kill you. Understand?"

"Don't worry, sir. I have my eye on a certain Scot. He's all yours—except of course if Katie ends up killing him of course. What was that all about?"

John leaned over the bed and snagged a pair of boxers—Rodney's it looked like—pulling them on. "It was his idea. He's decided I'm too reckless with my career, and there are a few people who have some suspicions. He figured a date or two with a female would help, and as long as it doesn't go any further than that, I was willing to play along if it made him feel better."

"So instead of a few suspicious people, Rodney was willing to alienate half the base." Cadman shook her—his!—head. "He might be a genius with some things, but with this…not so much."

John went tight and focused again. "Alienate half the base? What the hell have the two of you been up to?"

"Katie Brown is crushing on him. For her, this was more than just a dinner date."

John stared for a moment, and then dropped his head into his hands. "Christ, McKay, did you have to pick the one woman on base who would decide a date was a declaration of unending devotion? You're mine. I don't share."

"I've been trying to do damage control," Cadman said.

"Damage control?"

"You know that McKay has no concept of how to read people, right?"

"That's part of his charm."

"And it'll be the death of him—and you—if you just let him go and date people indiscriminately. He's playing with a woman's emotions and you know how well that will go over with the rest of the female population on base."

"I wasn't playing with anyone's emotions!" Rodney yelled, getting more and more angry when Cadman refused to let go of his body.

John echoed his sentiment. "He wasn't playing with anyone's emotions—at least not intentionally. And to be fair, she was the one who asked him. She had approached him a few times, and he decided maybe it was a good idea to say yes for once."

"And she's spent the last two weeks obsessing over the date."

"Fuck." John sighed. "All right, there's not much we can do about it now, and I'm still sticky. I can only deal with so many crises at a time, so that one's taking a back seat until we get you two sorted out. Let Rodney back out to play for a minute."

Cadman was quiet for a minute, obviously thinking about all of the comments and screaming he'd done over the past few minutes. "Yeah. That might not be a good idea."

The eyebrow went back up. "And why is that?"

"He's a little…upset."

"I can imagine. I still want to talk to him. Rodney, when you get control again, take a deep breath and relax for me."

Rodney felt Cadman grimace before she nodded. "Don't say I didn't warn you," she said, finally releasing control. Rodney felt the switch almost immediately, his body tensing as his blood pressure started to soar.

"She had no right—"

John stepped forward lightning fast, his arms wrapping around Rodney, pulling him close. "I know. And I'm sorry, and she's sorry."

Rodney struggled to get out of John's arms, trying to shove him away. "She…she just took control without permission and…"

John manhandled him to the bed, getting him to sit and then making him stay by simply straddling his thighs. He caught Rodney's face between his hands, forcing him to look his lover in the eye. "I know, but I need you to calm down for me."

"There is no calming down! She hijacked my body and made us have sex!"

John's lips twitched. "She made us have sex? While she started things under false pretenses, the actual sex part was all us, as I recall."

"You're missing the point. She made us, forced us and she had no right to do that. And that wasn't the first time she just took over without permission."

John's fingers were stroking softly, and Rodney felt his body relaxing despite himself. "I know. She was wrong, and I think she has some groveling to do when you get separated again. But right now getting angry about it isn't going to solve anything. I need you to calm down enough to focus on fixing the root problem—getting you separated."

"And they won't let me work on it because they say I'm too distracted with having her yapping away in my brain and then she just takes control without permission."

"Okay, so let's find you something else to work on then. And she's not going to take control again any more without permission. Because if you do, Cadman, I will make sure you regret it. I understand things are difficult right now, and I can understand wanting some freedom of movement. But you ask first, and if he says no, you back off."

"It's my body, too, right now," Cadman said, the words coming out of Rodney's mouth.

"You're a guest, and by taking control without asking, and performing acts against his will with it, you forfeited any rights you might have had." John's voice had gone a bit hard. "Had you not decided to come here and try out sex from the other side, I would probably be a lot more forgiving, but you did, and you hurt him because of it."

"He wasn't complaining once you got started," Cadman said, but Rodney was able to respond. Something had changed.

"It's not like I could protest anyway and you knew that!"

John blinked a few times. "Okay, don't do that. I have no idea who I'm talking to at any given time. Cadman, you started something you knew nothing about, and stayed in control until things had progressed far enough that Rodney was too far under to stop it. You're very, very lucky we already play these games, because whatever your intentions, what you did skirts the line of rape. Rodney, I know you're angry, and you and I will have some long talks about it later. But right now, I need you to take a deep breath and stay with me here. Don't let it overwhelm you, okay?"

Rodney scowled. "Too late."

John stroked his face again. "Close your eyes and just focus on me for a minute. Forget about Cadman and everything else. Just you and me."

"As if," Rodney snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Trust me." John's voice had dropped, taking on the tone of command and affection that never failed to get to Rodney. "Close your eyes."

"Listen to him, McKay," Cadman said quietly, a voice in his head once again.

Rodney sighed. "Fine." He closed his eyes, his body tense.

As soon as his eyes were closed, John's hands began to roam his body—not to arouse him, but to relax him. He found knots in his neck and shoulders, pressed against pressure points. All the while, he murmured soft words of encouragement.

Slowly, Rodney felt himself unclenching, letting John's hands—his touch, his words—wash over him. Soft kisses were pressed against skin and Rodney felt his mind slowing a little, dropping him down as he responded to John.

"Very good." John practically purred, but he didn't try to take Rodney down any further. He just pulled him into an embrace, holding him close.

"She just…" Rodney whispered as John stroked his hands along his back.

"I know. But you were getting so worked up about it you couldn't think straight anymore. It's okay to be angry, but I'm not going to let you make yourself that unhappy in the process."

"It's just not right. I didn't ask for this."

"I know. This whole situation is hard on everyone. But while she did make an error in judgment last night, she didn't ask to be stuck in your head either. I know that doesn't excuse her, but holding a grudge, especially while you two are so close right now, is only going to make you both miserable."

"After this, she deserves to be miserable."

John's breath was hot against his neck, where he was pressing soft kisses into skin between words. "That's between the two of you. I'd prefer it if you didn't torture my Marines. But remember she's under as much stress as you are. And making yourself tense and miserable at the same time doesn't do anyone any good."

"She's torturing me. It's only fair," Rodney grumbled, leaning against John, his hands trailing around the other man's waist.

John moved just enough to let their bodies slide together a little easier. "Torturing yourself to get even with her is a little silly. You're just upset and you want this to be over—which is completely understandable. So why don't we all agree to be very polite and nice to each other until Zelenka fixes this? When you both have your own bodies back, you can declare all bets off if you really want to."

"No."

Tongue snaked out to tease the sensitive spot behind Rodney's ear. "No what?"

Rodney shifted, pulling back so he could look at John. "No, I have no intention of being polite to her. She hijacked my body without permission and did…unspeakable things with it. I need to get dressed and go…do something."

John's hands continued to rub along his spine, and one corner of his mouth quirked up. "Unspeakable things? I know she took over without permission, and I agree it was absolutely wrong. But we both needed the physical connection. While I would have preferred it was just us, think of this like the club—we just had an audience for a little while."

Rodney tensed even further. "This is different. There I had the choice."

John sighed. "I know. And I'm sorry. I wish I could go back and notice something was off. But I can't. All I can do is try to be here for you now."

"I just…." Rodney huffed, managing to move back, away from John. "I need to shower and go and get real clothes on."

John caught his face and pressed a soft kiss into Rodney's lips, slipping his tongue inside briefly when Rodney parted his lips on a moan. Then he pulled away and stood back. "It's all yours. And I think you need to make Kate your next stop. I know you don't really want to, but you need it—both of you."

"I need her out of my head," Rodney grumbled, already moving to go to the bathroom, feeling his cheeks flush a little when he realized he'd have to shower with Cadman in his head.

"We're working on it. I'll stop by the labs later and get an update from Zelenka. See if he's made any progress."

"Probably not. He's too busy playing with the mice," Rodney said, stepping into the shower. He quickly cleaned himself off, finally getting the dried semen off his chest. This was so unfair.

Cadman was suspiciously quiet throughout, not even commenting when a fresh change of clothes was waiting for them when Rodney stepped out of the shower.

John was perched on the bed, still in boxers, watching Rodney carefully as he got dressed.

His voice was soft. "Are you going to be okay? And yes, I know you just need her out of your head, and I agree. But right now? Until we figure out how to do that? Are you going to be all right?"

Rodney shoved his feet into his boots—god only knows how they ended up here unless John had run to grab them when he was in the shower. "I have another consciousness in my brain that takes over my body when she damn well pleases and you think I'm going to be alright?"

John stood, catching Rodney's hand and pressing his lips into the center of the palm. "No. I don't. And that scares the hell out of me. Please go see Kate? She's a hell of a lot better at this sort of thing than I am."

"Unless she can exorcize this demon then she's not going to be much help at all," Rodney said sourly.

"Maybe not, but she can help you set up some ground rules until this whole nightmare is over. I'm biased, and Cadman is under my command, so I'm not really a good person to do that sort of thing. Heightmeyer can be the third party."

"Fine."

John kissed his palm again before releasing Rodney's hand. "I'll be either in my office or trying to convince Weir to let us keep Ronon most of the day. If you need someone to vent to, come find me."

Rodney nodded, tugging on his uniform jacket. His eyes found last night's clothes in a rumpled heap on the floor next to the bed, the pile only reminding him of what had happened. He sighed and headed out the door, his feet taking him directly to the mess where he grabbed a cup of coffee and something to eat.

He could feel the eyes on his back as he downed his breakfast.

They were all watching him, wondering what was happening, what he was going to be like with another consciousness in his head. He was a freak show.

With his stomach churning, he dumped the rest of his food and coffee, heading down to Kate's office. She'd be able to set Cadman straight.

In the back of his head, he could feel Cadman's original guilt fading into irritation.

Good. She deserved to be irritated. Waving his hand in front of Kate's door chime, Rodney waited not-so-patiently for the door to open.

It slid open to reveal a startled Heightmeyer. "Doctor McKay, I wasn't expecting you. Please, come in." She stood aside to let him enter.

"This is all your fault," he said, brushing by her, dropping into his usual chair.

She sat down across from him, her expression bland. "Why don't you start with telling me what happened."

"You were the one who told us to make some ground rules. We did and she didn't bother to abide by them! She hijacked my body…three times…if not more!"

Her eyebrows rose. "Laura, why did you do that?"

"He needed help," Cadman replied easily, taking control to answer.

"And you wanted to provide it? But did you ask if it was okay first?"

She shrugged. "He would have said no. It was easier just to do."

"Hmmm." She looked at them. "Did you stop to consider how he would feel? And Rodney, how did that make you feel?"

"Well, he doesn't consider how it feels to be in my shoes," Cadman answered, before Rodney managed to grab control once again.

"Like she hijacked my body without permission!"

Kate blinked a few times. "Why don't we start with Rodney? Since we can't go back and change the past, what do you need right now to make you feel better about the situation?"

Rodney sighed, putting his head in his hands for a brief moment before finally looking up again. "I would like an apology."

Kate nodded. "Laura?" ~~~~  


"Forget about it!" In his head, he could feel her bristling, on the defensive. ~~~~  


"You did take over his body without permission." Heightmeyer was using the 'be reasonable' tone. ~~~~  


"He doesn't ask permission when he takes over!" Cadman practically shouted it.

Rodney's eyes widened, his blood pressure starting to rise. The gall! How could she… "You ... because it’s my body!"

"Yeah," she said snidely, "and I’m a guest. Try and be a little more courteous."

Rodney turned to Kate, his hands gesturing wildly. "You see?! You see what I have to put up with!"

"Put up with?"

"There’s a lot of stuff that I’m not doing right now that I would be doing!"

"I don’t wanna hear about it." Now she was just being stubborn. ~~~~  


Kate finally broke into the argument, to grumbling by both of them. "Alright, you two. Settle down."

"You’re the one who said ‘set up rules’. Well, I did. I…I…I…I followed them. I stuck to them. She basically hijacked me," Rodney said angrily, not listening to Kate.

"Hey, you had a real opportunity to get inside the mind of a woman and actually expand your horizons, but no-o-o-o-o—"

Rodney felt his pressure rise even further. How dare she! She had no right to even think that he wanted anything to do with Katie! She was the one who insisted he go on that god-forsaken dinner date. "Did you ever for a second consider that I might not want to get inside a woman’s..." And between one word and the next, Rodney felt a flash of pain that completely overwhelmed his senses, his world fading to black.

***

John fiddled with his pen, distracted. He knew Rodney was in with Heightmeyer, and he hoped she would manage to get through to the two of them. The problem was that both Rodney and Cadman were strong personalities, and neither of them took well to sitting on the sidelines. ~~~~  


At least Weir had talked to Ronon. She was caving on that point, he could feel it. ~~~~  


God, he just wanted this whole week to be over, and soon.

When the call went over the city intercom for Doctor Beckett to report to Heightmeyer's office, John knew something bad had happened.

Knowing the doc, John didn't bother to head for Heightmeyer's. Instead he bee-lined to the infirmary, and was waiting there, leaning against a wall, when Beckett rushed in, a stretcher bearing an unconscious Rodney on it. John had to consciously force down his first—and second and third—reactions. He waited until it looked like Rodney was stable before catching the doctor's attention. "What happened?"

Carson held up his finger asking him to wait as he gave one of the nurses a few orders before tugging John to the side. "Sorry. I need to run a few more tests to be sure, but from what Kate described, Rodney had a seizure in her office."

John knew he had just lost all his color, and he was grateful he hadn't eaten anything today—if he had it would have been in danger of coming back up. He took a deep breath. "Okay, what does that mean? Why? Is he going to be okay?"

"I'm not sure," Carson said, putting a hand on John's arm. "From what Kate told me, Rodney and Lieutenant Cadman were arguing quite heavily, and had been. It has to have something to do with his current…situation."

John rubbed at his temples with his free hand. "Fuck. Yeah, there was an...incident...last night. Cadman was quiet immediately after, but Rodney was pretty pissed. It doesn't surprise me that they ended up arguing. I had hoped being with Kate when it spilled over would be a positive though."

"I need to do some more tests," Carson said quietly. "As soon as I know more I'll let you know. Or you can stay if you like."

John opened his mouth to say yes, he would, when his radio beeped in his ear. With a soft sigh, he opened the connection. "Sheppard here."

"Weir here, John. We need to talk about Mister Dex."

John debated telling her not now, but Rodney was out, and he knew he would be in the way if he stayed down here. Not to mention working himself up into a frenzy. "I'll be right there. Sheppard out." Looking at Beckett, he hoped the other man understood. "Let me know if there's a change?"

Carson nodded. "I'm going to run him under the Ancient scanners to get a better look at what happened."

"Take care of him."

Carson's face softened and he nodded again, patting John's arm. "I will."

With a deep breath, John made his way quickly out, heading to Weir's office. When he arrived, he slid into one of her guest chairs. "So you talked to Ronon? What did you think?"

She sat back, her hands clasped together as she looked him over. "I think you're going to have your hands full."

He nodded. "I don't doubt it. But he does know how to follow orders. And he's a hell of a good warrior. The longer he's with us, the smoother some of those rough edges will get. He's been on the run and alone for seven years. We can't fault him for being a little harsh right now."

"A little harsh?" She leaned forward, pulling a folder out from the pile on the corner of her desk, dropping it in front of him. "I've seen an increase in injuries from the military contingent from the past several days. I'm assuming that it's because of the…training he's offering."

John gave her a sheepish smile. "I told him not to go easy on them. But Elizabeth, he's survived being actively tracked and hunted by the Wraith. If we can get the Marines into half the shape he's in, we'll have a huge advantage. That kind of conditioning isn't going to come easy, or...without a little pain."

She grimaced, shaking her head. "I don't know if it's a good idea, John."

"He doesn't have anywhere else to go. And we can use his skills."

"What about the recruits we can get from Earth? We're not exactly cut off anymore."

"And they'll be as fresh-faced and stupid as the ones I have now. Even those of us who have been here the entire time are working at a disadvantage. We haven't grown up with the Wraith, spent generations learning how to fight them effectively. He has a lot he can teach us, and that could mean the difference between surviving, or going back in a body bag."

Elizabeth sighed. "He would be your responsibility."

"I knew you'd say yes!" He beamed at her.

She narrowed her eyes. "I haven’t said yes."

"Well, you were about to." He grinned.

She looked at him again, holding his eyes for a long moment. "Yes."

"There you go!" He relaxed slightly. Ronon would be a good addition to his team. He hoped.

Elizabeth huffed and shook her head.

"Anything else interesting going on? I haven't had a chance to read up on the information from the last data burst."

"Apart from the interesting things your team manages to get themselves into…" She shook her head. "No, not really."

"Hey, you'd get bored if it wasn't for us. We keep your life spicy."

"I could use a little less of that, thank you very much," she said, shifting in her chair, her gaze moving past him briefly before returning. She offered a smile. "I actually have another meeting now…"

He blinked. "Sure. Okay. I'll catch you later then." He gave her a sloppy salute before heading out, feeling a bit at odds. Maybe he could try catching up on his email—going back to the infirmary would be a bad idea.

Or he could watch Ronon pound some Marines into the gym mat. That might be an option.

Altering course, he headed for the workout room, making himself comfortable and unobtrusive against a wall. No one seemed to have noticed his entrance, so he just watched, silently making notes on the common mistakes his men were making, and the various exploits Dex was using.

It was certainly eye-opening.

And when he was paged sometime later, he'd managed to totally distract himself. "Beckett to Sheppard."

Absently, John responded, voice quiet and his eyes glued to the sparring. "Sheppard here."

"John, ye might want to come down to the science lab. They're about ready to try to get Cadman back into her body."

He immediately straightened and started moving. "They are? Since when? I thought McKay was in the infirmary and Zelenka couldn't figure out how to stabilize the process?"

"Rodney came up with something and it looks like it might work."

"I'm on my way now. Don't do anything until I'm there."

"That's not my decision. Beckett out."

"Fuck." John picked up his pace, jogging through the city and hoping he wasn't too late. He breathed a sigh of relief when he ran into both Elizabeth and Carson in the halls leading into the lab. Zelenka wouldn't start without them—he hadn't missed it.

"Rodney's convinced this is gonna work," Carson said as they rushed down the last stretch of hallway.

"Hold on." John picked out his lover on the far side of the lab. "Rodney, I thought all the mice died."

McKay turned to him, cocking his head to the side. "Well, what are we, mice or men, hmm?"

John swallowed hard. He had to trust Rodney and the others on the science staff. But that didn't mean he had to like it, or that he couldn't silently curse the regs that prevented him from gathering his lover into his arms for a heated kiss—just in case. ~~~~  


"Are you sure about this?" Elizabeth sounded almost as worried as John was.

"Absolutely," McKay said nodding his head. "Yes."

Radek though simply shook his head and shrugged. John wasn't sure he liked that part.

Elizabeth looked at Rodney for a few long moments. Then she nodded. "Okay."

"Just ... give me a second," he said, stepping back into the area that had been marked out as the target for the dematerializer. His infirmary slippers were quiet against the floor. "Well, Laura, it’s been, um ... unique," he said, pausing as he listened. Obviously Cadman was saying something.

Rodney nodded a moment later. "Good luck to us both, right?"

Radek was typing away on a keyboard. "All right. It's ready." He glanced at John, Carson, and Elizabeth, gesturing toward them. "I suggest you take a step back." When they had moved out of the target area, he nodded to himself. John sucked in a breath and held it. "All right," Radek repeated and prepared to activate the controls.

But just as Radek was going to activate it, Rodney's posture changed and his hand came up, his index finger raised. Watching, John could tell by the way his lover walked and held himself that Cadman had taken control. It was weird.

Rodney—Cadman—finally grabbed the lapels of Carson's lab coat and pulled him close, kissing him passionately.

John felt his eyes get huge. Next to him he heard Elizabeth cough and look away, but John couldn't... she wasn't... that was...

After a moment, Rodney—Cadman—broke the kiss, pulling back just far enough to look a stunned Carson in the face. "Just in case this doesn’t work."

A beat later, Rodney's posture changed again and he let go of Carson in horror, his eyes wide as he realized what Cadman just made him do. "Oh!" Stumbling back into the target area, Rodney kept his eyes down, his cheeks flushed red. "Just, just hit it." He covered his eyes with his hand, absolutely and totally embarrassed.

Cadman was so going to be sparring with Ronon. Daily. For a long, long time. ~~~~  


Radek hit the button this time, and McKay disappeared, his life sign registering a beat later on the monitor nearby. "Okay, it is reading as two life signs. Power levels are steady—" ~~~~  


"Get them out of there!" John practically growled it. He wanted them out, for this to be over.

After another beat, Radek finally hit the button again and the two life signs faded from the computer monitor. The beam shot out once again and when it finally faded, Rodney was back—his head still in his hands—and Laura Cadman was beside him, frozen with her hand outstretched, obviously from when she'd tried to get Rodney out of the dart's beam.

The silent moment was finally broken when they both collapsed to the floor unconscious.  Carson was at their side in an instant.

John just watched silently as the med team swarmed. What if this hadn't worked? What if they were both brain damaged? What if they never woke up? What if last night was the last memory he would ever have of Rodney?

"Let's get them to the infirmary," Carson said a few moments later, the staff already moving in the gurneys and equipment.

John just watched, not really sure what to do. He would only be in the way in the infirmary, but there was no where else he wanted to be.

Carson paused before he left the lab, turning to look at John. "Come on."

Like an obedient dog, John trailed them, reassured by the babble the doctors threw around—not that he understood it, but the tone wasn't panicked or afraid.

It wasn't long before John, Radek, and Elizabeth were ushered deeper into the infirmary to the room where Cadman and McKay had been placed, wires and monitors connected to them. Beckett smiled as they walked in.

"There you are. They're gonna be fine, but I'm gonna keep them here for a bit to monitor their vitals and brain function just to be sure. Laura, here, is already awake," he said, pointing toward Cadman who slowly raised a hand, waving.

Rodney chose that moment to stir, and Laura's attention fixated on him. "Feeling better?"

As Elizabeth, Radek, and John stood, moving toward the beds, Rodney shifted, looking to the left toward the empty bed and John knew exactly what was going through his head the moment he heard the strangled, "Oh no."

Sing-songing, a slight smile on her face, Cadman caught his lover's attention. "Over here!" When Rodney turned his head, she waved.

"Oh, um…" Rodney said, visually relieved that Cadman was Cadman. "A little less crowded. You?"

"Same. It's nice to have my body back." ~~~~  


John silently agreed with her. It was nice to know that Rodney was just Rodney again, without any outside observers.

"You are doing supremely well," Carson said, smiling down at Cadman, but Rodney answered. Of course.

"Ah, good to hear," Rodney said stretching a little as Radek approached Rodney's bedside, tablet PC in hand. "Nice work."

John let the banter between Rodney and Zelenka wash over him for a moment. He turned his head slightly, catching one of the nurses giving him a hard look. He must have been staring too long at McKay. Fuck. Time for a little damage control. "Lieutenant, way to survive what I think may be my worst nightmare." John flicked his eyes at the nurse in a barely there movement, letting Rodney know what he was doing.

"Yes, thank you," Rodney commented, shooting him a murderous look of his own.

John risked a quick squeeze to Rodney's ankle, mostly hidden by his body, before he trailed Elizabeth and Beckett out to give McKay and Cadman a moment.

There were certainly going to be some words exchanged—if they didn't kill each other first.

***

They were only alone for about five minutes before the silence got too much for the two of them. But it was Cadman who actually broke it.

"I am really sorry. For what it's worth."

"For what in particular?" Rodney asked snidely, turning his head so he could see her. "There's so much you can be sorry for."

She didn't meet his eyes. "All of it I guess. I was scared, and giving you a hard time was how I handled it."

"No kidding."

She sighed. "I honestly didn't think I would survive, Rodney. At first I just didn't think you would get me out before I couldn't hold on anymore, and then... I saw the mice. And I know you're more important to the expedition than I am. So if they had to choose one of us to save... I behaved badly, and fear and being sure I was going to die aren't really much of an excuse, but that's all I've got."

"No. It's not an excuse for what you did…what you made John and I do. That was supposed to be private," Rodney said, shifting again, his hands beginning to wave. "Don't you understand that you crossed a line, Cadman?"

"Yes." Her voice was quiet. "I did. And I know I can't fix it."

"Didn't you trust me to figure it out? I said I would."

"You weren't working on it—Doctor Zelenka was." She lifted her eyes, her expression a little sad. "But I've been with the SGC for about a year now, and I've seen people die from a lot less weird things—with just as many if not more good people working to save them. It was getting harder every day to hold on. Even if I did think you could figure something out eventually, I didn't think I would still be around for it. So...I crossed the line. I guess I just wanted to remember what it was like to feel loved before I faded away. I'm sorry."

"He would have gotten it eventually," Rodney said after a moment, his voice less harsh. "He's a good scientist, but don't you dare tell him that."

"He would have gotten it in time to save you, but not both of us. That we're both still here was just a lucky epiphany on your part. I had maybe a day, at most, before I wouldn't have been able to stay any more."

"It wasn't that bad."

The corner of her mouth quirked up. "Yes, it was. It started not long after the date. It was one of the reasons I kept fighting you, taking control. I didn't want to forget what it felt like to have a physical body, and after each time, there was a little less pressure to just let go. For a little while at least. And I know I should have stopped the thing with the Colonel, but... it was the first time I felt grounded since the accident had happened, and I didn't have to fight to stay in the here and now. But I still used you both, and I shouldn't have done that."

"No, you shouldn't have," Rodney said quietly, settling back against the pillows. "Just…I don't care what happens to me, but don't screw things up for Sheppard."

She shook her head. "I meant what I said before. I have a lot of respect for him. Even before this happened. Now... You guys have something special. I would never do anything to jeopardize that. And I'll help where I can—if I hear a rumor, I'll let you know, and try to deflect it."

Carson picked that moment to walk in, pausing at the door, obviously noting the serious air in the room. "Is there a problem, boys and girls?"

Rodney saw the faint flush that stained Cadman's cheeks as she glanced at the doctor. "Nope. Just clearing the air, right, McKay?"

"Sure. Right," he said, waving his hand absently. "You going to release her before she jumps you, Carson?"

"Rodney!" They both said it at the same time, with the same amount of shock. It was actually kind of funny. Cadman's flush got deeper and more noticeable.

"If you break his heart, Cadman, you're dead. Just remember that."

She spluttered, while Carson's eyes got wide and he turned a faint shade a pink. "All right, that's enough of that. As a matter of fact, I did come in here to see about releasing Laura. Rodney, since you woke up later, and your body was under more strain, I'd like to keep you a bit longer for observation."

"Of course," Rodney said, rolling his eyes. "Have to make sure your girlfriend is okay first."

Carson rolled his eyes. "You are still under my care, and I can break out the big needles, so behave yourself. Lieutenant, I have a set of clothes for you to change into waiting in the restroom. When you're ready, get dressed and I'll see about discharging you."

Cadman nodded, swinging her feet off the bed, Carson's eyes following her as she moved to the nearest bathroom. Rodney rolled his eyes again, shaking his head. Hook, line, and sinker.

He glanced over and saw Rodney watching him. His cheeks turned a bit pink. "Not a word."

"I, of all people, should be allowed to tease you. I was the one she used to snag you in the first place. So was it the way I kissed that really drew you to her?"

Carson glared. "We will never speak of that again. And don't get any funny ideas about trying it again. You nearly gave me a heart attack with that little stunt. I know I'm quite the catch, but still..."

"I wasn't the one who did that, Carson," Rodney said, sitting up, pinning the Scot with a glare. "It was all Cadman, just like everything else that happened."

"You're the one who was just asking me to critique your kissing technique." Beckett grinned.

Rodney shook his head. "You deserve her, just for that comment. Good riddance."

Carson patted his leg. "Don't get your knickers in a wad, lad. I know it was her. I began to suspect something when 'you' invited me on that little date. I dinna know what will come of it, but I am flattered."

"It was hell, Carson. Hell."

He got another leg pat. "It's almost over. Let me go clear your new friend, and I'd like to run a few more scans to be sure everything has returned to normal. Assuming no problems crop up, you should be on your way in another hour or two."

Rodney sighed, but nodded as he leaned back, closing his eyes as his head hit the pillow. "Fine. Not like I'm going anywhere with all the wires you still have attached to me."

"Just a precaution. That brain of yours has been under a lot of stress the last few days. I know how important it is to you, so I'm taking extra special care of it."

"Yes, yes, yes. Placate the genius."

Carson chuckled, but his response was cut off by the return of Cadman. With another pat on the leg from Beckett, the two of them moved into another room, Carson already going over the check-list of symptoms that she should return to have looked at should they crop up.

Rodney found himself drifting off, the low conversation and the regular beeping of the monitors reassuring in an odd way. The tension he'd been holding onto for the past several days had been a little more than he'd realized. And between one breath and the next, Rodney drifted off into a light slumber, knowing Carson would wake him when it was time to go home.

***

John had his feet propped up on his desk, his desk chair tipped way back, as he tried to concentrate on _War and Peace_. He was so behind on his schedule. ~~~~  


He knew Rodney hadn't been released yet, so he was a bit surprised when he door chimed. Figuring it was probably Teyla or Elizabeth since no one else except his lover ever came looking for him here, John mentally told the door to open without looking up.

"Sir?" Cadman's voice was tentative.

John went backwards in surprise, ending up on his back on the floor. "Ow. You know Lieutenant, you really haven't been endearing yourself to me lately."

"Sorry, sir," she said, coming forward to help him upright. "Sorry about everything."

He gave her a wry grin, setting his chair upright, and then leaning his hip against the desk. "This one was partially my fault. I should have actually asked who it was. So... what brings you here?"

"To apologize again. I want to clear the air, if I can. I really like this posting and I'd like to stay—if I didn't manage ~~d~~ to piss you off too badly."

"I'm not really the one you need to be apologizing to."

"I've already talked to Rodney and I have to disagree, sir. I was dishonest with you and owe you a huge apology."

He stared at her for a moment and then sighed, pushing the chair in her direction while he sat on the bed. "I have to admit, what I really don't get is why. You had to know it wasn't a smart move when you thought of it."

"Rodney was so uptight about everything. He needed to loosen up. I thought I could help him a little," Cadman said after a moment, finally sitting down, elbows resting on her knees as she leaned forward. "And honestly, I thought he was just telling me stuff to shut me up. I never considered that he'd actually told me the truth."

"And convincing us to have sex while you... watched... seemed like the best way to do that?" He raised an eyebrow at her, deciding to indulge in his somewhat morbid curiosity. "And what did you think he was lying about?"

She grimaced. "No. I didn't think you would have sex. I thought he was just crushing on you or something, especially how he reacted every time you touched him or looked at him." She sighed.

He watched her for a moment. "You thought he was lying about us being together. You didn't think I would actually want him—is that it?"

Cadman shrugged, obviously uncomfortable. "It's a stretch, sir."

She had made Rodney uncomfortable, so John had no problems making her squirm a bit now. "And why is that?"

She looked up at him, her mouth a thin line. "Have you looked at yourself lately?"

"I don't make a habit of staring at myself, no."

Her lips twitched, the corner of her mouth rising in a sarcastic smile. "You and McKay are not exactly a typical couple."

"Well, not in the military, no. But other than that little fact, we're as normal as you can get around here." He was honestly curious now. He really didn't understand why the first reaction of the few people who knew about them was always disbelief.

"I wasn't talking about that."

He raised an eyebrow, encouraging her to continue.

She rolled her eyes, glancing away, her loose blonde hair swinging a little. When she glanced back, she had an odd look in her eyes, her eyebrow raised. "You want the truth?"

He leaned back a little, nodding. "I think I do. I've never been able to figure out the odd looks, and you're the only one I can actually order to tell me."

"Great," she snipped, shaking her head. She took a breath before she finally continued. "You're hot, sir. Between the hair, the body, your whole…look and then you add on your personality…you just ooze charm and a certain…confidence that would have people bending over backwards to have just a moment of personal time with you."

He felt himself flush a bit, but he wasn't completely oblivious—or at least, not as oblivious as he let most people believe. He had used his looks a few times in his life to get what he wanted. But still... "Rodney is just as hot…hotter actually since he has the brains to go with the body."

"To you, maybe, but to everyone else he's just an arrogant prick and an asshole on a good day."

John scowled slightly, but tried not to take her comments too seriously. They weren't new or revealing, really. But it didn't mean he liked to hear them about Rodney. "He just has no tolerance for stupid people. And to him, most people are stupid. If you actually listen to him, he's pretty funny. And anyway, why is it so odd that we're together? Just because a few people think I'm attractive?"

"And he's not."

She was visibly uncomfortable, so John decided to keep going. It was a sort of sick pleasure watching her squirm. "So just who am I supposed to be with, since everyone seems to have an opinion on the subject."

"Anyone but him. Most think it's Weir."

That made John straighten. "Elizabeth? That's just... weird. Why the hell would anyone think I'm with Elizabeth?"

"The whole chain of command/power thing. Besides, you too make a very pretty couple." Cadman shrugged. "It's either her or Teyla."

He couldn't help the shudder. "Teyla can kick my ass with her hand tied behind her back. There is no way in hell I'd ever try to take her to bed, and I don't care how attractive she is."

"You asked, sir."

He shrugged, leaning back onto his elbows. "Call it a sick fascination. No one will ever dare actually repeat gossip to me, so when I have one of you where you can't get away, I have to catch up."

Cadman looked away, her cheeks flushing red. "I just came to apologize."

"And I'm amusing myself by watching you squirm. Call it your penance if you want."

"I don't think that will ever be done, will it, sir?"

"That depends entirely on you, Lieutenant. Despite my...charm and confidence...I can be a vindictive bastard when I want to be. And when you take into account my unusual sense of humor—I wind McKay up for fun when I'm bored—you could be in for a hell of a time. On the other hand, the energy it takes to really fuck with someone could be put to better use elsewhere. So you tell me—is this going to be a problem down the line?"

"What do you mean by problem, sir?"

"Personally, I really could care less that you were there when we were having sex. But Rodney's a lot less…open…about this sort of thing than I am. When he forgives you, we'll be good to go."

Cadman sighed. "Yeah. That might never happen."

"Oh, I don't know. He likes expensive coffee and chocolate, and he always needs help moving shit around the labs. Grovel enough, and he'll forgive you.. .eventually. And as long as you aren't actively pissing him off again or trying to fuck me over, I won't get involved."

"And how does possibly dating his best friend work into the whole equation?"

John blinked. "You and Beckett?

"McKay didn't kiss him."

"Thank god for that. I like Beckett, I'd hate to have to kill him."

Cadman sighed again, running her hand over her face. "I'm not getting shipped back to Earth for this, am I?"

John snorted. "Hardly. I keep forgetting you're new here. You'd have to screw up a lot worse than this for me to actively try to ship you back. Doesn't mean I won't enjoy embarrassing you once in a while, but like I said before, if you don't make this any more of a problem, neither will I."

"I have no intention to, sir."

"Then we're cool—or as cool as we can be as long as my lover is actively trying to find ways to make your life hell. I should point out that I, to, can be bribed to intervene on your behalf." He grinned lazily.

Cadman's face lost several shades of color. "I'm in for hell, aren't I?"

"You irritated the smartest man in two galaxies, who also has full access to every system in the city, and knows said systems better than anyone else. What do you think?"

She nodded. "Hell. But you should know I fully intend to fight back."

John threw his head back as he laughed. "You're a sucker for punishment then. Just don't let it spread, and if anyone gets hurt, you answer to me. Got it?"

"I don't want to hurt him, just…give his life a little more spice."

"You don't think I keep his life spicy enough?"

"From what I saw," she said, rising to her feet, "no, not at all. Far too vanilla for my tastes, sir."

John made a disgusted face. "Vanilla? God, no. But I wasn't going to break out the rope or the toys when I thought you were sleeping in the back of his head and could wake up at any time, thanks."

"Good to know, sir. I'll come to you for pointers then." And then she winked.

He laughed again. "It's all in the knot, Cadman. Too loose and they'll slip free, too tight and you leave obvious marks."

"Who said anything about knots?" she asked, pausing just before she got to the door. "Oh, and, sir?"

He was still sprawled on the bed, so he just raised an eyebrow again. "Yes?"

"I just thought you should know that every time you look at McKay he goes all warm and tingly." Her smile was light and teasing as she left his quarters with a "Good night, sir," tossed over her shoulder.

John blinked a few times, and a bit of warm and tingly ran through his own body. He knew Rodney reacted when he wanted him to, but it was nice to know his lover was as head-over-heels as John himself was. Lying back completely, he put his hands behind his head and smiled at the ceiling.

John drifted for a little while, some of his panic from this morning's medical page finally catching up to him. The chirp of his radio jolted him back to awareness.

He turned it on even before he was completely awake again, slurring his words slightly. "Sheppard here."

"You awake, Colonel?" Beckett chuckled in his ear. "I can call back later."

"Beckett? I'm here. I was napping. Everything okay?"

"Yes, fine. I'm going to release Rodney in a little while. Want to grab him before he heads to the labs?"

"On my way." John rolled out of bed and scrubbed his hand through his hair. He made sure he was semi-presentable before heading out, making his way towards the infirmary.

Rodney was sitting up in bed, his booted feet swinging as he argued with Carson about going back to work.

"I’m perfectly fine for the tenth time. You said so yourself."

"Now boys, haven't we had enough arguing for the day?" John grinned as they both looked up at him.

Rodney scowled at him for a minute before turning back to Carson. "You called him, didn't you? When you said you had to check a file you were calling him instead to talk me out of working."

John laughed quietly at Carson's sheepish expression before he hopped up onto the bed to sit next to Rodney. "I can think of more interesting ways to celebrate having your body to yourself than working."

"I haven't been allowed to work for days."

"It's getting late anyways. Take a night off and go back strong tomorrow."

"It's not even time for dinner."

Dropping his voice and leaning in so only Rodney could hear him, John had to smile at the way his lover shivered minutely. "I'll get some finger foods, and we can spend the evening celebrating."

"John," Rodney whined, but Sheppard knew McKay was caving.

He dropped his voice another octave, letting it fall into the cadence he used in the bedroom. "We can use the cuffs. You'll be all stretched out for me to feast on, and I'll keep my uniform on so you can feel the glide of fabric on skin as I touch you."

Rodney turned to him and John could see the arousal growing in his lover's eyes. "Oh, god…" Rodney moaned quietly, leaning forward, only to be interrupted by Carson—a very loud Scot.

"All right you two! I don't want to see this!" Carson was flushing bright red when John looked up.

Grinning, he hopped down off the bed and tugged at Rodney to follow him. "Come on. We wouldn't want to offend his delicate sensibilities. Head to my room, and I'll grab dinner and meet you there."

"But…" Rodney's eyes were wide and there was a noticeable bulge in his pants.

John leaned in again, letting his breath skate across Rodney's ear for a moment. "Get naked for me. Put on the cuffs and wait for me on the bed."

John felt Rodney shudder. "I'll…I'll wait in your quarters."

"Good boy." Straightening, he grinned. "I'll meet you there shortly with dinner."

As Rodney trotted off, Carson grabbed Sheppard's arm. "Take it easy on him. He seems okay, but he had some major trauma this morning."

"Trust me, I know. And he had a shock before that. I'll take care of him, get him to relax for the night. I can't stop him from jumping back into things tomorrow, but I'll at least make sure he does it well rested."

Carson nodded. "Just keep an eye on him, make sure nothing out of the ordinary happens. I'm not expecting it to, but I'd rather be safe than sorry."

"I'll call you if I see anything to make me worry. Now I'd better go. I don't want him waiting too long for me."

The Scot offered a nod, waving John on his way with a knowing smile and chuckle.

Slipping into the mess, John charmed a plate of finger foods from the head cook, a fierce lady who bought his story about wanting to nibble while he worked on reports tonight. As he walked down the hall, John flipped his radio on. "Sheppard to Weir."

"Weir here. What can I do for you, John?"

"Beckett's charged me with making sure Rodney takes it easy for the rest of the night. So we'll both be off radio. If there's an emergency, page me."

She was quiet for a moment before replying. "Carson didn't mention anything about it when we spoke earlier."

"He's okay, but he wants to go back to work. Given the trauma his body went through this morning, Beckett thought it would be prudent to keep him under observation—and we all know McKay wouldn't have stayed overnight in the infirmary. So he called me in to come collect our wayward geek."

"Very well," she said. "We'll need to make arrangements in the morning to get some paperwork cleared for your new team member."

John grinned. "I'll be there with bells on. In the meantime, have a nice night, Elizabeth."

"You, too. Weir out."

"Sheppard out." John had timed it so just after he signed off, he stepped through the doors of his room, mentally telling the doors to lock behind him.

And John paused, taking in the sight of his lover, his cock immediately hardening. Some days John swore Rodney would kill him.

He was naked, the cuffs locked into place on his ankles and wrists as he kneeled in the center of the room waiting for John. A blindfold was already in place and from the lack of movement John thought he might have put the earplugs in as well. The toy box was open and sitting next to the bed.

Very carefully, John set the tray of food down. Rodney still hadn't reacted, so he didn't know John was here yet. Mmmm, the possibilities. His pants were already starting to get a bit tight. Fishing out a set of nipple clamps, John went to one knee in front of his lover and swiftly attached them both at the same time.

Rodney reacted immediately, moaning loudly and hissing a little at the pain. He moved slightly, as if to try to get away, but quickly stilled, panting as he settled down again.

John used both hands, fingers spread wide, to ground his lover a little, running them up and down his arms, over his thighs, avoiding anywhere overly sexual—for now.

By the time Rodney was humming in contentment, John was ready for step two.

Tugging his lover up, he led the other man to the bed and got him settled on his back, a pillow under his hips to ensure access later. Then all four limbs were locked down, so Rodney was spread eagle on the bed. He was John's for the taking, and God, he was fucking perfect.

A few tugs to the restraints and Rodney's body settled against the mattress, some of the tension already draining out of him. Rodney was lost in his little world of silence and sensation.

Perfect. Returning for the tray of food, John set it on the bed, then settled in next to Rodney. With a smile, he choose a small morsel and pressed it against his lover's lips, even as his other hand found Rodney's very erect and leaking cock. He stroked lightly, slowly.

Rodney gasped giving John the entrance into his mouth, placing the small piece of food on his tongue. As Rodney chewed and swallowed, his body shifted slightly, but the way John had tied him didn't give him much room to move. He moaned and trembled, opening his lips in a silent request for more.

Panting a little himself at how responsive, how beautiful Rodney was, John continued to feed and stroke his lover, occasionally tugging on the slim chain that ran between the nipple clamps to remind the other man they were there.

With moans and whimpers, Rodney gave himself up to John, his body's tension fading away to be replaced by something much more basic.

Smiling, John chased dinner with his own tongue, diving in to lick away every last trace of the food from Rodney's mouth, until they were both moaning, and Rodney was pulling on his restraints again. Chuckling, he mouthed his way down his lover's body, taking the time to lick and nip at every available patch of skin he could get to.

Rodney moaned loudly as certain, more sensitive parts were touched, and John made sure he spent several minutes on each of those locations, dragging every sound he could out of his lover.

God. So perfect.

John's BDUs were now in the painful stage. Remembering his promise to Rodney, he slipped off the pants and boxers, but left his shirt on. He decided he wasn't ready for either of them to end this yet. From the toy box, he slipped a gummy ring around his own erection—it wouldn't stop him from coming, only help him remain in control a bit. For Rodney, though, he pulled out the vibrating Ancient ring. Once it was on, he told it to do its thing.

And Rodney bucked upward—or as upward as he could, given the restraints holding him to the bed—his moan loud and long. John chuckled and adjusted the vibrations, making sure it wasn't too strong. He watched Rodney squirm and moan, caught up entirely in the sensations, for several minutes. It was hard to hold back from touching him, but just watching him was….wow.

Swallowing hard, and with an evil grin, John grabbed a vibrator from the toy chest and coated it liberally with lube. He slowly pushed it inside his lover before flicking it on. And the reaction he got was absolutely amazing.

Rodney actually yelled—granted it was short and ended more in a moan—but it was so amazing to hear him just lose it like that.

Fucking him slowly with the toy, knowing it was pushing him closer to the edge, John just watched Rodney fall apart for him, watching him touch the sky. The ring ensured he couldn't come, so John upped the sensations, tugging on the nipple clamps again.

Rodney was almost constantly whimpering and moaning, some sobs thrown in for good measure, but he was taking it, taking everything John was doing, leaving himself open for whatever John wanted to do.

It was absolutely amazing, and John was glad he had put a ring on himself, or he would be coming just from watching this. He wanted, needed, to be inside Rodney now. Pulling the toy free, he had to move to soothe his lover almost immediately, as he started thrashing, sobbing loudly at the loss.

Leaning down, he pressed soft kisses to the skin on Rodney's neck before moving up to his jaw. Finally he captured Rodney's mouth in a deep, passionate kiss, swallowing every moan his lover was making.

Once Rodney had calmed a bit, John swiftly coated himself in lube and pushed inside Rodney's body.

This was home.

With a deep groan, Rodney seemed to agree, whispering John's name.

They were both too aroused for John to make this slow and sweet. He gave Rodney a moment to adjust, then began to thrust in earnest. The ring gave him a little extra staying power, but even with that he could feel his orgasm starting to build.

With Rodney clenching down on him and sobbing with every thrust John wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to hang on.

With a mental flick, John removed the Ancient cock ring imprisoning Rodney, giving his lover silent permission to come any time.

And come he did.

Only seconds after the ring came off, Rodney was pulsing between them, streaks of come along his stomach. He clenched down even harder on John's cock as he moaned long and loud, his head finally slumping to the side as he went limp.

That was all it took for John, who groaned loudly as he filled his lover, feeling like his brain was leaking out of his dick.

John collapsed on top of Rodney, panting into skin, not caring that he was getting come ground into his shirt. It would clean.

When he came back online again, John licked the patch of skin he had been sniffing a few times, then pulled out and rolled off his lover. He very carefully pulled out the earplugs, but otherwise left Rodney where he was. "Hey, there."

"John…" Rodney whispered, turned his head toward the other man.

"I'm here." John pressed their bodies together, burying his nose in Rodney's smell.

Rodney trembled under John for a moment before relaxing again, a quiet moan settling in his throat. "Yours…all yours," he whispered.

John hummed his agreement. "Love you."

Rodney tugged at the bonds holding him down, shifting slightly under John, a small whimper escaping his mouth.

John reached up to release Rodney's wrists, leaving his legs tied down. He shifted on top again, settling so he wouldn't crush Rodney, but still give him some access to John's body.

Hands and arms encircled John immediately, pulling him closer, tighter, his lover burying his face into the side of John's neck.

They stayed that way for a long time, just letting themselves enjoy being together. John felt himself starting to drift off, content and happy in ways that, before Atlantis, he never would have dreamed possible.

Rodney sniffed into his shoulder, air drifting across skin as the desperate hold he had on John slowly loosened.

"You doing okay?"

The answer was slow in coming. "Maybe."

Lifting his head, John dragged his lips across Rodney's jaw line. "Anything in particular I can do to turn that into an unhesitating yes?"

Rodney shifted, turning his head toward John as he released a contented purr from the contact. "Mmmm…plug me? Remind me I'm yours, that it's just us."

John smiled, kissing Rodney deeply before he sat up. Almost as an afterthought, he pulled the nipple clamps off, carefully, knowing it would be painful. He kissed each abused nub, using his tongue to soothe, before getting up to find Rodney's favorite jeweled plug.

He detoured into the bathroom first, quickly cleaning himself off with a water-warmed facecloth before ducking back into the bedroom, staring at his lover.

And what a picture.

Rodney was on his bed, panting and naked and half hard with come streaking his chest. His head was thrown back, hands clenched in the sheets, legs tugging at the bonds holding him down. John smiled, loving the sight of his lover, his partner, like this. So open. So consumed by John and the sensations and the love John gave him.

Moving to the toy box where they kept everything, he pulled out the usual plug at first, but quickly changed his mind. If Rodney wanted a reminder he'd get one. Sheppard dug for the larger one, finding it quickly.

Coating it with lube, and glad to see that, because of Rodney's position, most of John's come was still inside his lover, he pushed the plug inside. When it was fully seated, Rodney was moaning in a very satisfying way. "It stays in until I decide to fuck you again—tomorrow at the earliest."

"Oh god…yes, please…" Rodney panted, his cock hard and leaking.

John's own dick was waking back up, getting hard again from the amazing picture Rodney was presenting. Climbing back up the bed, John wiggled his ass over the head of Rodney's dick a few times, teasing, before he continued up further. "Open your mouth for me."

Rodney responded immediately, eagerly. Licking his lips, he lifted his head slightly as he opened his mouth. God.

John slid himself inside, swallowing hard as Rodney's tongue teased him into full hardness almost immediately. John stayed there for a moment, letting Rodney suck and play, before he moved his hips slightly, in and out, claiming his lover yet again, reminding him who he belonged to.

And Rodney just hummed and moaned around him, opening himself up as much as he could so John could thrust in deeply. On one thrust, John paused, cock pressed in, holding it as Rodney squirmed under him. He finally pulled out a few seconds later and Rodney gasped, pulling in a breath as best as he could around the cock in his mouth.

John gave him a three count to catch his breath before repeating the movement, making Rodney moan and buck up underneath him. Hands moved from the bed to clench at John's hips—but he smiled when he noted they weren't pushing him away or pulling him closer—Rodney was just holding on, trusting John to take care of him.

God. He loved this man so much. John pulled back, letting Rodney breathe again. He ran his hand along Rodney's cheek, loving how his cock filled Rodney's mouth, how well he took it all.

Rodney purred around him, making John's hips stutter a few times, even as he continued to stroke Rodney's face. "So good. When I come, swallow it all. You're mine, in every way mine."

Rodney's hands stroked against John's skin, the leather and metal of the cuffs rubbing against John. Pinned and secured as he was, that was the only way Rodney could move, could give John any kind of response.

He picked up the pace again, thrusting and holding, feeling the need building quickly. He choked out a warning so Rodney could be ready just before he let himself go, his body twitching with the aftershocks. He pulled out of Rodney's mouth slowly, whimpering as his lover continued to lick and suck.

With come spilling out the side of his mouth and his lips swollen and red, Rodney looked completely debauched. John reached around behind him, feeling Rodney very hard erection and smiled. He'd held on for him.

John watched as Rodney swallowed, licking his lips to catch those stray drops. With a moan, he leaned down to lick his way inside, tasting himself and Rodney mixed together.

Rodney moaned into John's mouth, kissing him back slow and deep, even as his hands tugged John closer.

Breaking the kiss, John moved down Rodney's body until he could kiss the leaking tip of his lover. "Look what we have here. This poor thing is looking very neglected."

"No…good…it's good."

John licked the pre-come away, making Rodney's whole body jerk. "How long can you take being played with before you have to come? Without any help to hold you back?"

"I…I don't know. Want…want to stay like this for you…" Rodney panted, breathing heavily as he tried to hold on.

John hummed in appreciation. "Very good. I want to taste you, but hold out for as long as you can. I want to see you fall for me again."

"John, please," Rodney begged, trying to shift away.

John grabbed his hips, pushing his lover against the mattress. "You don't have a choice. Right now I want to play with your body. I'm going to take you to the edge and you're going to hold off your orgasm for as long as you can. And then I'm going to drink you down and lick you clean."

"Want to stay like this for you…please…" Rodney whispered.

"If you can keep yourself from coming at all while I taste you, that's fine. You don't have to come. But I am going to touch you." He licked away the new pre-come that had beaded up on the tip.

Rodney moaned, rocking his hips slightly, but he nodded, panting through his open mouth.

Chuckling, John set to work. He deliberately kept things light, teasing. He wanted to play with his lover, but he also wanted to give Rodney what he wanted. So while John wasn't going to stop, he wouldn't pull out the tricks he knew would make it impossible for Rodney to hold back either.

He teased his cock, but soon moved down, tonguing the crease between torso and leg, his hands stroking Rodney's legs and calves. Pressing his face into Rodney's groin, he smelled him and licked him, loving the strangled moans he was able to pull from Rodney's mouth.

Shifting slightly, John licked up the other side as his fingers lightly rolled Rodney's balls and stroked that small patch of skin directly behind, feeling his lover tremble and shudder.

John blew softly on the spot before moving on, licking, and occasionally nipping, his way all over the area. Every now and then, he swiped his tongue back over the leaking head to gather up the drops. "So beautiful, so perfect..."

When John moved to Rodney's bellybutton, he felt his lover's hands in his hair, on his face, touching, stroking.

John nuzzled a little, and they set up a feedback loop of sorts, John touching Rodney, Rodney touching John... god, so good...

John drifted further up, spending a great deal of time on Rodney's already swollen nipples, loving how he squirmed and moaned and breathed his name, how Rodney's hands continually stroked his back, renewing their connection.

With a soft noise, John reclaimed Rodney's mouth, letting them both sink into the sensations. Oh god, this was just so damn good.

John reached down, grabbing the pillow under Rodney's ass and tugged, managing to drop it on the floor next to the bed as he settled in closer. They took their time as they kissed, the desperation from earlier gone, only to be replaced by love and deep murmurs of affection.

This was about more than sex or getting off. Right now, this was just about them and their feelings for each other. So many times lately, they hadn't taken the time to do this, to renew this most basic connection.

John backed off of the kiss slowly, nibbling at Rodney's lower lip and sharing air with him. "Love you so much," he whispered.

"Mmm…love you," Rodney said just as quietly, leaning up, pressing closer again.

John kissed him again softly. "I'm going to unhook your legs so we can get comfortable to sleep. The blindfold and plug stay where they are."

"Mmm…okay," Rodney whispered, lips touching John's as he replied, tugging John closer.

John chuckled, sitting up slowly, careful not to lose the connection with his lover as he leaned down to unhook the cuffs.

Rodney whimpered as soon as his hands left John's skin.

"Ssshhhh. I'll be right back. I'm not going anywhere." He made quick work of the locks and then settled back on the bed, pulling Rodney back into his arms, tangling them together more completely than they had been able to a moment ago. "See, this is better."

"Hmph," Rodney snorted, burrowing into John a little.

Smiling, John nuzzled his lover, breathing deeply the scent of Rodney and sex and love. "Night."

Rodney nipped at the skin right by his mouth before soothing it with kisses and a lick.

John shuddered lightly, letting Rodney feel just how much he liked it. There was no way he could get hard again this soon, but he could still enjoy the caresses.

He felt the smile Rodney pressed into his shoulder before he moved up John's neck—licking, kissing, nipping—worshiping each and every patch of skin. His hands curled around John's back, fingers digging into muscle and skin.

John's breath caught, and he tilted his head, giving Rodney more access. He absolutely loved when McKay get into a playful mood. It always ended with John screaming in pleasure and so sated he could barely move.

When Rodney shifted again, John could feel the cuffs around Rodney's wrists but before he could enjoy the sensation, Rodney's lips grazed the corner of his mouth. Readjusting, Rodney got it right the second time, pressing lips together in a deep and passionate kiss.

John parted his lips, letting Rodney slip inside. When his lover rolled them so John was pressed down into the mattress, he moaned softly into the kiss. He had almost forgotten Rodney hadn't come a second time, so he was still feeling frisky. Thank fucking god.

But instead of the desperation John expected, Rodney slowed down, spending all of his time and energy simply kissing John. He parted only long enough to take a breath before diving in again and again.

John let himself get a little lost in the sensations. He went with it, letting Rodney set the pace, just enjoying the gentle ride he was taking them on.

At one point, Rodney paused, drawing back, panting into John's shoulder as his body trembled. He stayed that way for several minutes, simply breathing hard.

John idly ran his hand up and down Rodney's back, soothing, touching. The kissing had made his body start to take note again, and certain parts in particular were trying very hard to get back into the action.

But it was amazing to feel, to see, Rodney trying to hard to hang on, to edge himself back even though John knew it had to be hurting him.

Lifting his head enough to catch Rodney's mouth again, John kissed him for several moments before pulling back just enough to whisper. "It you need a little help holding on, take the ring off me and put it on yourself. It won't stop you from coming, but it does help you stay in control."

Rodney shook his head. "No…'m fine."

"Okay." He relaxed back into the mattress, watching Rodney out of slit-eyes, relaxed and willing to see what his lover would do next.

It took him another few minutes before Rodney started moving again, going back to the kisses and nips, this time on the other side of John's neck. A tongue in John's ear made him jump, getting a light chuckle from Rodney.

John just groaned, tilting his head further, fingers clutching and releasing against Rodney's back.

Rodney hummed, taking his time as he kissed and nipped at John's ear, sucking on the lobe before moving back down his jaw.

John was panting softly, and he spread his legs wide. His body was definitely interested again.

Planting a light kiss on John's lips, Rodney trailed his hands down John's body, licking a path along the way. He spent a few minutes with each nipple, tweaking and biting and playing before moving on, latching onto the tip of John's cock.

John arched into each touch, whining high in his throat when Rodney abandoned his nipples. But when his lover's mouth surrounded him, John fisted his hands in the sheets and moaned, trying not to thrust up.

"Please, John," Rodney said quietly after he released John's cock. "I'm here for you."

Since he had come a few times already, John didn't have the desperate need to come from earlier. He was just aroused. "Keep...keep doing this. Make me fly, make it last..."

"Want to come again?"

"Yes, but not yet. This is good, feels so good... Love feeling your hands on my body, your mouth on me... I get hard watching you in the labs, berating people and waving your hands around... so much energy..."

Rodney chuckled, his breath ghosting over the skin of John's hip. "I…can I…can you turn over?"

John made a happy noise and flipped over, sprawling out on his stomach, letting his limbs go slack so Rodney could move him around however he wanted.

Rodney was tentative, his hands light against John's skin. John realized that with the blindfold still on, Rodney was trying to "see" where John had moved to.

Oh god, that was really, incredibly hot. Moaning, John shifted so he was firmly in Rodney's hands. "If you want to take the blindfold off you can. But if you want it on, you don't have to."

"No," Rodney said firmly. "I'm good. Just…just need to figure out a few things."

"'kay." John relaxed back into the bed again, breathing deeply. He was incredibly relaxed, arousal buffing through him pleasantly.

It took a few minutes, and several passes of Rodney's hands before he shifted, finally settling on John's lower back, one leg on either side, his hands already digging into John's shoulder muscles.

John purred, and amazingly his muscles relaxed even further as Rodney worked out every knot and kink, leaving behind nothing but a Sheppard-shaped puddle of goo.

Rodney shifted lower and then John felt kisses getting pressed to the top of his back and shoulders, trailing down his spine even as Rodney's hands caressed his sides. He moved again, finally kneeling on John's left side. "Can you…can you get up on your hands and knees?"

"Mmm hmmm." John's limbs were all heavy and loose, but he managed to push himself up, resting his head and shoulders back on the bed, so his ass was in the air.

"Oh god," Rodney exhaled quietly, his hands grazing against John's ass.

John just hummed his agreement, pushing back against Rodney's palms.

Rodney shifted again, moving around so he was behind John on the bed. He continued to stroke John's ass and lower back before be pressed light kisses to the skin.

John's erection had faded in favor of full body relaxation. Now it woke up again, lengthening, hardening, as Rodney teased all around the erogenous areas. John whimpered softly, but was still too relaxed to do more than that.

Hearing John's reaction, Rodney's kisses became nips and licks as well, light bites against the meat of his ass. And then Rodney just moved—his hands spreading him as his tongue slid into his crack, circling around his entrance.

"Oh fuck..." John moaned, pushing back a little, his body going from zero to needy in half a second. "Rodney, oh god... don't stop... Oh...."

As soon as Rodney's tongue pushed into him, John knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.

He didn't even know what he was saying, babbling nonsense and begging for Rodney to keep going, telling him how fucking fantastic he was. John loved being rimmed, but he didn't get the opportunity very often, so he held on, glad the gummy ring was still in place to help him hold back.

And Rodney did his best to keep going, but John knew he was tiring as soon as his tongue began to thrust slower into John.

Panting, John begged shamelessly. "Finger please so close.... don't stop..."

Rodney pulled off and John whimpered, but he immediately replaced his tongue with a spit-soaked finger from his left hand, while his right snaked under to stroke John's cock.

John whined high in his throat, alternating between pushing back against the finger and forward into Rodney's hand. He could feel orgasm building, but stubbornly, he tried to hold on, wanting to feel this good, fly this high, for just a little longer.

"Wait, John…wait…" Rodney panted. "Can you turn over?"

Breathing hard, John made an unhappy noise when the finger and hand disappeared, but he rolled back over, spreading his legs wide and pushing up into the air. "Rodney, god, touch me, please…"

"One second…" Rodney said, his hands on John's body, finding his place again. A moment later, one of Rodney's fingers had found its way back into John's ass and his mouth was around John's cock, sucking him—hard.

John didn't quite scream—but it was a near thing. It was too much and not enough and he was coming and coming and oh god so fucking good...

When John finally came to once again, Rodney had slid up along his side, head pillowed on John's chest, and arm wrapped around him, and his very hard erection pressing into John's side.

"Hey." His voice was rough, and he wasn't sure he could move again if the city was sinking or being invaded right now.

"Mmm?"

"You're amazing."

Rodney shifted, snuffing into John's skin, pulling him closer. "Was okay?"

John hummed. "Better than okay. M'jello right now. I don't think I've felt this good in a long time."

"Good."

John smiled lazily. "You planning to let me make you come again tonight, or did you want to go to sleep like that?"

"I'm okay," Rodney said quietly. "You like me leaking and needy for you."

John turned enough to pull Rodney closer. "Mmmm, it's a good look for you."

"So you've said."

"Since you're being such a good boy, I think tomorrow, you're going to stay nice and hard for me—we'll use the Ancient ring—and then tomorrow night I'll make you fly."

Rodney shifted, angling his head up toward John. "Really?" If the blindfold wasn't there, John knew Rodney's eyes would be open wide.

"Mmmm, and the plug is staying in—the big one. By the end of the day tomorrow, there won't be any doubts about who you belong to."

"Yours."

"Yes." John kissed Rodney's nose and squeezed him tight. "And I'm going to take care of you."

Rodney sighed in contentment, his hand reaching toward John's. He was a little surprised, though, when Rodney tugged John's hand to his hard cock.

"Rodney?"

"Hold me?"

Chuckling, John rearranged them slightly, so he could get his hand around his lover easily and still hold him. He stroked Rodney's length a few times, spreading the pre-come around the tip, before just loosely wrapping his fingers around the hot, hard erection. "So good. You're perfect."

Rodney was panting once again, trying to hold back and he shifted slightly, John's hand immediately tightened on Rodney's cock, pulling a moan from Rodney's lips. "Good…so good."

"Since you're going to spend the day painfully hard tomorrow, and you've been so good tonight, I think you deserve a reward." John began to stroke him, keeping his grip tight and firm.

Rodney sobbed, his entire body trembling even as be begged John to stop.

"You would deny me the right to make you come when I want? Your body is mine. I get to decide when you come and when you don't."

"No…no, never," Rodney panted. "Yours…all yours."

"Good." John kissed him gently. "Because I want you loose and relaxed tonight, so I can have the pleasure of winding you back up all day tomorrow. You'll need to spend most of the day sitting, because you're not going to be half-hard, you're going to be leaking for me all day."

Rodney nodded and moaned as John sped up his strokes, whimpering and trembling under John's hands.

John continued to whisper into Rodney's ear as he caressed. "You'll be in the labs, working on projects and berating your minions. And the whole time the ring will be buzzing hard, keeping you needy, wanting me. You'll come find me in my office whenever it starts to be too much, and I'll take out the plug, fuck you hard over my desk, and then put it back in."

"Oh….oh…John," Rodney panted, his skin flushed with a light sheen of sweat as his hands clutched at John.

"By the end of the day, math and sex will be intertwined in your head. Pi will make you whimper, and you'll see interstellar star drive equations in your head as you come. But you won't come right away, because even though you'll be desperate by then, I'll play with you first. You won't get release until you're screaming for it, begging and sobbing for me to give you release."

"Please, John, please," Rodney said, already begging now.

John nipped Rodney's earlobe. "Come," he whispered.

And Rodney did, spilling between them, his entire body shuddering and his orgasm rolled through him. He slumped heavily against John, panting into his skin, trying to catch his breath.

John continued to nurse him through the aftershocks and then freed his hand to wrap his arms around his lover. "Good, so good..."

Rodney settled after a few minutes, his heart rate and breathing leveling off.

"Love you."

"Love you, too," Rodney whispered, his voice languid and sated.

Chuckling, John pulled him closer as they both started to drift off to sleep, tangled so closely he wasn't sure where he ended and Rodney began. And that was just the way it should be. As sleep pulled him down, he was already planning how to drive his lover out of his mind with need the following day. Life was so totally good.

***

The End


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